Question:

Does it count as fornication if a man coerces you into touching his penis? I've recently repented of my sins and confessed to the appropriate people. But I wanted to know because when my boyfriend and I first got an apartment together, we had to have roommates -- another couple I didn't know very well.

Well, on the girl's birthday, the boy pulled me aside and exposed himself to me and asked me to touch it. At first I told him no, I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. He said wasn't going to put it away until I touched it. Feeling like I has no other choice, I poked it. He tried to get me to grab it, but I said no because he said he would put it away after I touched it.

I have already confessed it to my now fiance, but he's very unhappy about abstaining until we're married now that I found my faith again. (We haven't had sex in over a month.) Last night he asked if he can leave me based on that sole occurrence. It hurts to think he could just so easily walk away from eight years of commitment to each other, but I had to ask. First, I was subjected to something I didn't want to do, and now he wants to throw it in my face. Just to give extra perspective, he's a pagan who (I think) thinks my newly found faith is an inconvenience, to put it lightly.


Answer:

What happened with this boy was lewd behavior, but it wasn't an act of sex and so was not fornication. Lewdness is wrong (Romans 13:13-14), but in this case the sin was on the boy's part. It would have been better to have not given in to his demands, but I understand how you felt pressured.

You were committing fornication with your boyfriend, so it is ironic that he wants to end a relationship where he has been committing fornication because someone else acted lewdly toward you. I guess he doesn't realize how hypocritical he is being.

The fact is that because you are not married to your boyfriend, you should not be living with him. There is no commitment between you and him. Nor does it sound as if he wants to make a commitment. Instead of being angry that some guy behaved so poorly with his girlfriend, he jumps at an excuse to leave where he can claim he isn't the bad buy.

It doesn't matter how many years you have had invested in this relationship. The fact is that he never committed himself to you by marrying you. He is showing is true character, and it isn't a nice one. So when it comes time to find a worthy man to be your husband, realize that God was right. Find a man whom you respect and who treats you with respect. Sex only belongs in a marriage where the man and woman are committed to each other.