Question:

Dear Sir,

I was reading on your web site a letter that a young woman had wrote to you about feeling very guilty about going too far with her boyfriend. Being that she was away from home and at college with new friends she put God out of her life and that was how it was able to happen. After having feeling great guilt she repented and wanted affirmation from you if God did indeed forgive sexual sins. You answered her by replying that of course He did and gave various scriptures as reference.

But the reason I am writing you is because you had mentioned that if you could talk to her and her boyfriend it would be a different talk for both of them because of the difference of the male and female's way of thinking, etc.

Okay, what I didn't really like reading was when you told her that "your boyfriend was in a state of sexual arousal and men are not able to think rationally when they are like this." My concern and worry is that as a married woman, do I have to worry that if ever my husband, who I trust, is being tempted and aroused by a woman where he has no control being around her (in his view and she is dressed provocatively) or alone with her (work for example and she is coming on to him), will he or any committed man not be able to say no?

Thank you for reading and I hope to hear back from you. I have heard this before and I wish it was different for men. Why did God have to give them such a powerful sex drive?

[Three days later.]

Dear Sir,

I sent you a recent email after reading your reply to a young woman's letter you about God's forgiveness and sexual sin. I am now embarrassed and wish I never sent you my email mentioning that I was concerned because you mentioned about when a male is aroused he is not able to rationalize. Forget replying to me with any answers. I am giving in completely to the notion I have had for quite a while now and that I find the Bible to be unreliable as the infallible word of God. I finally feel free now. Mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

It has been painful for me for years always having to hear about the powerful male sex drive and how visually easily men are aroused. Christians and non-Christians have always said this. It does not go hand in hand with what Christ says in Matthew 5:28-38. How looking at a woman lustfully is adultery of the heart and if your right eye causes you to stumble gouge it out. I've been tired so long of hearing how men struggle with their sex drive and visual temptation. I just say forget it. The Bible is not completely accurate, it is only written by men and men make mistakes. I am finally free with this.

I didn't appreciate your warning to young men about the temptations of prostitutes either. How you mention it is not hard for a man to fall into bed with her and that most men would find it very pleasurable and pay any amount of money to have her in bed with them again. That sounds like a sure way to make a young man purposely look for a prostitute after reading that. It sure didn't sound like something a man of God would write. You didn't sound like you were trying to discourage them, anyway, but making it sound very tempting, being with a prostitute. I guess that's why my first husband couldn't stop seeing hookers.

Thanks for being another Christian that made me no longer believe in the Bible.


Answer:

It is always humorous hearing from people who state that they don't believe in the Bible but then believe they must tell preachers who do believe in the Bible how they are supposed to teach. I'm sorry, but you have no credibility.

The reason Jesus said, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28) is because men are known to commit this sin. To warn against a known source of temptation is not equivalent to saying it is acceptable to give into the temptation.

The male sex drive is no stronger than the female sex drive. What does differ are the things that trigger sexual desire. The point of my argument with this young woman is that she had decided that if she could place limits on her actions that he would be able to resist any temptation she placed in front of him. People are different. Men and women are different, but in the matter of being strongly aroused, both men and women don't think clearly and make rational decisions. What I was pointing out is that in a given situation, she might not be as aroused as he is, so she should not conclude that he will be in the same state of being able to think rationally.

When I talk to young people, I do tailor what I say to what I believe the person will understand. That is called "persuading." It is a biblical concept. "And he reasoned in the synagogue every Sabbath, and persuaded both Jews and Greeks" (Acts 18:4).

"For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Now this I do for the gospel's sake, that I may be partaker of it with you" (I Corinthians 9:19-23).

When I talk with men, I talk about their need to control themselves, not let their emotions take control, and best not to get into situations where they find it hard to think. The details of how that is done is different between men and women.

The Bible does say that sin is pleasurable. Moses chose "rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin" (Hebrews 11:25). The reason sin can be a danger is because it hides behind pleasure. To acknowledge how Satan operates is not giving excuse for giving in to sin. "Lest Satan should take advantage of us; for we are not ignorant of his devices" (II Corinthians 2:11).

So far, beyond your empty claim, you have not proved the Bible to be inaccurate. Instead, you stated that what the Bible says on sexual matters coincides with what people generally acknowledge as being true. Besides, if you reject the Bible, then you have no moral ground to say that I shouldn't teach as I have been doing. Nor could you justify quoting the Bible to prove another wrong because you claim it is a standard you don't accept. Personally, I think you do realize it is God's Word, but you don't want to admit it because that would mean conforming your life to it.