Question:

Hi,

My life is messed up because my relationship with my girlfriend is very bad. I am suffering from epilepsy, diabetes, and I lost an eye. But all of this is fine if she is with me. I'm involved in my family's business and belong to a very rich family. She belongs to a family with lots of financial problems.

We were in a relationship for almost ten years. I convinced my family to allow our marriage, but her dad objected because of my health conditions and our financial status. She got engaged last month to one of her friends, but she is not happy because she loves me. She says I know I have to move on in my life, but she wants an extramarital affair. However, when I ask her to marry me instead of a extramarital affair, she says her dad objects.

There is all this confusion in my life. Please help.


Answer:

I'm really sorry to hear about all your health problems. I hope things go better for you in the future.

The best solution is to approach this by placing God's will first. What she is suggesting is committing adultery before she has even entered into a marriage. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). This tells me that she is not religious or moral. "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth, and says, "I have done no wickedness"" (Proverbs 30:20). Such a woman would not make a good wife and I feel sorry for her future husband.

I know you have invested a lot of time with this woman. To call her your girlfriend even though she is engaged to someone else tells me that you don't want to let her go. Yet, a marriage cannot work unless both the man and the woman agree to join their lives together. She has chosen her father's advice over what she claims she wants, so despite her words, her actions more accurately reflect her true desires.

You don't need someone to have sex with. You need a lifelong companion. She has has turned down your offer, so it is time to find a woman you can truly love and one that loves you for all that you are. It will be hard. Give yourself some time to grieve the loss, and when you are ready to look again, don't compare the people you find to your ex-girlfriend. Each person is different and has her own unique combination of traits.