Question:

Hello,

I would like to first say thank you for having a wonderful web site. It helped me view matters in a different perspective.

My question today regards letting go and moving forward. How do I drop my personal pride and move on? How do I forget an event which I've already forgave? (This matter, of course, leads back personal pride). I was once told to "forgive but never forget." This quote demand that one must not forget, however, in my case there's no need for a demand because I probably will never forget. I don't see an option of forgetting, and I feel that this is due to how the matter affected me mentally and emotionally. Not being able to forget creates unnecessary distraction which could lead to destruction.

Thank you again.


Answer:

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15).

Forgiveness is to grant as a favor, pardon, rescue, deliver, relieve, release, or to free fully. It is easy to talk about forgiving (releasing a debt) when it is a matter that doesn't really bother you. It is harder when the matter is something that affects you personally. It is probably hardest of all when hits your pride and your trust in another person.

Jesus said, "And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him" (Luke 17:4). As incredibly hard as it seems, forgiving really isn't an option if you want to reach heaven.

The problem you are having is forgetting. The mind doesn't have an erase function. Memories do fade, but only if you don't dwell on them. While you can't forget at the moment, you can choose not to bring up the issue any more, which is a part of what forgiveness is all about. "Indeed it was for my own peace that I had great bitterness; but You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back" (Isaiah 38:17). We, too, need to treat the things we have forgiven as if they are not there.

I would also like for you to look at another answer that touches on this same theme: How can you forgive someone if you don't trust them?

Thank you. It is difficult especially if there's always something, or rather someone, that reminds me of it, but I understand that it is something that I have to just face and move on.