Question:

I have a 16 year old son who has been very disrespectful in this household. It's all because he asked if he could stay with a friend one night and I told him yes. But I called to check on him, and he had went to a party that had alcohol. He wasn't drinking, but when I finally got a hold of him, I told him that he was grounded and that I was taking his phone. Well, he told me that I'm not taking his phone, so I called his dad and spoke to the pastor about this matter. They both told me not to take his phone on the account that he quit his job, so he wouldn't have any money to buy minutes for his phone. Well, that didn't work. He has saved his money, so his phone is still on. His sister is upset because she said it's not fair that she had her phone taken. She's right but I'm trying to obey my pastor. My son walks around the house as if no one is talking to him. When I tell him to do something, he just sits there for a minute as if I never said a word. I don't know what else to do. I have taken his PlayStation out of his room, and I won't let him go stay with any of his friends. I think that is why he's been so rude.


Answer:

I can see where his father would interfere because he would be wanting to "buy" his son's favor. I have no idea why the preacher would interfere and give bad parenting advice.

Your son broke a rule and there should be consequences. Those consequences should be laid out in advance so no one is surprised by them. For example, since he is a minor, his phone should be in your name or his father's name. If it is in your name, you can simply call the company and suspend the account for a period of time. Physical possession of the phone is not required.

It is clear that the punishment is bothering him, since he trying to get even with you by ignoring you as much as he dares. You'll just have to outlast him.