I would like to start with my story. This would be my first year doing lent. On my list of things to give up we're sex, cigarettes, soda, pork, and hard liquor. I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. I don't know what it is about him, but it's drawing me very close to him. We have had sex, but then I started lent. The first time I went over to his house during lent I had a very weird feeling, and I asked God to let this feeling pass, and I promised that I would stick to my lent. Well, that night went smooth no more problems. Then a week later I went over and had sex with him -- breaking my promise. I went over there a couple of days ago with the sole intent of having sex, but about an hour before we laid down my heart started beating faster. I started having tunnel vision and I could hear voices saying its getting to be too little too late. He laid down and fell asleep, but I could not knock a chill that I had which was only on my fingertips, toes, nose, and mouth. That feeling would only go away the further I was away from his bedroom. I tried lying down; however, when I closed my eyes I saw my life flashing before my eyes. So I called my mother to pick me up. She is a strong prayer warrior, so I asked her to pray for me while we were still in the car. As she was praying I felt like I was in the middle of a war. I could see things differently; however, my eyes were closed. It felt like demons were coming out of my body as I was crying. I was almost to the point of purging. Then I felt like I was being whipped. As I ran in the house it felt like something was following me. When I locked the door behind me it felt like I was stuck to the door like someone was holding me down.
Can you please give me some type of insight into what I experienced?
It is called the overactive imagination in a young woman who caught up in sin. I'm not going to explore your imagination; instead, I would like you and I to talk about reality.
First, there is no "Lent" in the Bible. The idea of giving up things for God that God never asked for is a man-made concept. "These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh" (Colossians 2:23).
Worse, though, is this distorted idea that you giving up sins for a short period of time. Fornication is a sin, period. It isn't wrong because you gave it up for Lent, it is always wrong. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Smoking is wrong because it harms your body. Hard liquor has always been wrong. "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise" (Proverbs 20:1). Right and wrong doesn't change by the seasons.
You are deeply involved in sin, but you justify it by talking as if you are battling it when you have no intention of giving it up. You know you are doing wrong, so it is more convenient to blame you bad decisions on imaginary demons than to face the fact that you are not the Christian you claim to be. Unless you face the reality of the situation and give up your sins, you won't make it to heaven. "I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3).