Question:

Hi,

First of all I'd like to thank you for the great work you are doing for the church. May God bless the work of your hands.

I have a pressing question: A friend who is 27 is in a relationship with a 29 year old man. She tells me she is ready to get married and have children. She has communicated this to her boyfriend, but he says that he won't be ready for another five years. Her fear is that she will be an "old" mum. Every time she brings up the topic, the boyfriend gets annoyed and agitated. How would you advise her? And what does the Bible say about such a case?

Thank you.


Answer:

Usually when I run across a man who is not eager to get married, even though he has a girlfriend, it often indicates that he is having sex. I can't say this is true in this case, but it would explain the odd desire to delay for so long.

As hard as it is, if the woman is looking to get married soon and the man is not interested, she needs to move on and find a better man. It is difficult to realize you need to change after you've invested so much of yourself in what you are currently doing. But when something isn't working out, the best thing to do is stop. Banging your head against a wall is not productive. Life is too short to chase after what another person doesn't want.

Thank you very much for the insight. I hadn't seen it from that angle at all. All I was advising her was "you guys need to sit at the table and talk and find out your long term objectives and see how they accommodate each other."

Thank you once again.