Question:

Good day,

My ex and I recently broke up. He ended it through text on Christmas day. He said things were not working out, even after I sacrificed to move down by him and live in his rented apartment. He was supposed to move out, but said he will in January. I was uncomfortable because I believe in living together only after marriage. Thankfully we never had sex. I stayed there less than a week and he broke it off. I love him a lot and want him back. My reaction to him not moving out immediately began to affect our relationship. I am not perfect, we were getting married later this year. Not sure if he met another woman or what the case is, but he said there is no us and just keep saying it's my way or no way. He said he is still my friend. I love him and want him back. God can turn it around. I wish I knew what to do. All I can do is pray. I can't eat or concentrate and feel like I am going crazy.

Please help me.


Answer:

It appears to me, given what happened and the uncaring way this was handled, that the boy you are living with was expecting you to move in with him and start sharing his bed and having sex in exchange for the promise to marry you later this year. His expectation what that he wouldn't really be moving out.

That all changed because you stopped giving in. You bent your personal rules to move in with him before he moved out, but didn't give in to his further advances. He is annoyed because you won't do things his way (have sex). Since he wasn't getting what he wanted, he called off the marriage. I strongly suspect that the marriage would not have taken place anyway. Things would come up that would cause him to delay the actual wedding.

I know you invested a lot into this relationship and can't imagine it would end just like that. But notice what you avoided. You didn't marry a guy who doesn't care about your feelings and who thinks sex is more important than marriage. You came close to making a big mistake and for that you can thank the Lord that you didn't get trapped by sin or a marriage to such a man.