I have an addiction to something I'd rather not say. (It's not drugs ) haha. But it's something I want to stop, but it's so hard. I made a promise to God saying I will not do this addiction for one week. On the third day I did it. I have broken a promise with God. But I have made a promise with God about things like this before and have failed. I ask for forgiveness and am sorry. I really am. But I keep doing and doing it again. I ask God to help me, but I still end up doing it.
I just want to stop this addiction. But the fact that I'm making promises to God and am not following through with them is bad. I know God will forgive me of all sin. But I keep doing this over and over again. I really try to keep my promise but it just doesn't work out. What I'm asking is do you think God is getting tired of seeing me break my promises to Him? I shouldn't make promises I can't keep but when I promise Him I mean it but it just doesn't work out.
I'm a 15 year old. I have repented and Jesus is in my heart. I've felt his Holy Spirit. But I sometimes think that maybe I'll end up going to hell or get left behind in the rapture, so I pray and tell God I want to be with Him and not get left behind. I had a dream the other night. This dream makes me think maybe I'll go to hell. Jesus is in my heart but why am I dreaming about things like that? I think about God every day. I try to pray every morning and every night. I don't swear. I don't drink. I dont smoke. I don't get into big fights. I'm loving. I don't go to church, but I'm still with God. I ask Him for forgivness a lot and when I get lustful thoughts I try hard to get them away and ask God to help. I'm forgiving and thankful. But what does this dream mean? Am I doing something wrong? Wrong enough that I'll go to hell for it?
I'm assuming that this addiction involves something that is sinful. If you think about it for a moment, does it make sense to promise to God to stop doing what God already says is wrong to do? When a person does this, he is essentially saying that he only keeps the laws that he agrees with God about. It is backward because it puts man in the driver seat. Making a promise to keep God's law doesn't change the situation any. You are supposed to keep His laws anyway.
In regards to repeated sin, see I keep repeating sins I've repented of. Am I really saved? Not knowing what you are struggling against, I can't give specific advice.
In regards to your dream, dreams are born from mind connecting ideas of the day and filing them away. Your dream tells me that you are worried that you aren't doing what God wants you to do. God used to communicate at times thorough dreams. It wasn't an everyday occurrence, but a rare event. But God said He isn't using that method today. "God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds" (Hebrews 1:1-2).
I'm glad that you live a basically a moral life, but even at man's best, we all blow it. Just being good as you see "good" isn't enough to get you or anyone else to heaven. From the sounds of it you do what you find convenient to do, but you haven't totally given yourself to God and you know deep down that that isn't enough. See: What Must I Do to Go to Heaven? As an example, you admit you don't go to church, something God commands (Hebrews 10:23-25), yet you claim to be with God. The two ideas are not compatible. "But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46).
I'm stuggling with masturbation. But when I do this I try my hardest to do so without lustful thoughts because I know that's adultery in the heart. I can actually do so without lustful thoughts. But it's become an addiction and addiction is sin. I'm not 100% sure if masturbation itself is sin, but I want to stop it. But it's just so hard and I ask God to help.
Yes, I did truly give myself to God. I felt his Holy Spirit with me the night I repented and my life was extremely changed. When I pray I feel the Lord with me listening. But I mainly only get that feeling when I pray to him. The night I repented was the best night of my whole life. I may not go to church but I have a relationship with Jesus. I may not do everything God has commanded me, but yet I don't know everything God commanded me. But I have been reading the Bible lately so I'm learning. I do what I think God would want me to do. Sure I may not do everything God would want me to do but then again I don't know every single thing he wants me to do. I know that you don't go to heaven just for being good. You go to heaven because you believed in Jesus and that he died for you. I have given myself to Jesus. He has helped me so much and has helped my heart, my mind, and my life. I think even that itself shows Jesus is with me.
This addiction is out of hand. I want it to stop. I don't know if I'll be going to heaven, but I do know Jesus is in my heart and I do believe in Him. But I still wonder if I'll be able to be with Him in heaven. Of course I'm worrying about my sou'ls destination. I want to be with the Lord. I may not go to church but I still love God and pray to him and think of Him so much. I wouldn't mind going to church though.
Like many people today you mistake feelings for reality. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). Feelings follow your decisions, but they should not be controlling your decisions. Nowhere in the Bible does it ever state that God guides by feelings. Faith comes from knowledge, not feelings. "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17).
Therefore, if we want to talk about salvation, we need to look at what God said you need to do and compare it to what you've done. How you feel about your state has no significance since you are not in the driver seat. See: What Must I Do to be Saved?
The same goes for sin. Sin is the breaking of law. "Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness" (I John 3:4). Feelings of guilt may serve as a warning, but it has nothing to do with whether it is actually right or wrong. God defines righteousness in His Word.
Now consider this. I eat. I have to eat all the time. I just can't seem to go without eating without giving in. Do I conclude that eating is an addiction and, therefore, a sin? Next, with this in mind read: Is masturbation sinful or not?
"But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46).
Going to worship is not an option for Christians. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:23-25).
"He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him" (John 14:21).