Question:

I have my ex. He is a strong believer. He was actually called to be a minister of God's word. I also want to be a minister of God's word. The thing is we had sex, got a baby and I aborted it. Now we can't stop sleeping together. I love God most and I love him. Help.


Answer:

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them" (Matthew 7:15-20).

I was struck by the number of falsehoods in this short note.

  • The man is your "ex" but you are with him.
  • You claim he is a strong believer, but he is committing fornication with you. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
  • You claim he is called to be a minister, but preachers are to "be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (I Timothy 4:12). His behavior shows he is anything but.
  • You want to be a minister, which isn't a duty open to women. "Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says" (I Corinthians 14:34). This on top of being involved in fornication and having murdered an innocent child.
  • You claim to love God most while opposing His commands. "But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46).
  • You claim you cannot stop having sex, which is clearly false. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13). No one is making you sin. You are volunteering for it.

I cannot help if you insist on staying in sin. You need to leave it behind. That means stop having sex with men you are not married to and stop pretending to be something you are not. "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up" (James 4:7-10).