Question:

Hello,

I've been a newborn in Christ for about three years. Jesus 180'd my life.

My problem is that I've been with my fiancee for ten years now. She is starting to get closer to God but not convicted as I am yet. She wants that relationship I have with Jesus. The problem is that we are living together. I bought the house before my regeneration by God. We have three dogs and we are not sexually active. Am I living in sin right now? I don't see us selling the house and getting rid of our three dogs. What should I do? We really plan on getting married very soon, just trying to save some money. It is our priority. Please help, thank you.


Answer:

You may not be in sin because you are not sexual with each other, but you are certainly giving the impression to others that sin is taking place. Most people would assume that you have no more restraint that they have and assume that your claim of not being sexual is just words. As Paul urged, we should be "providing honorable things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men" (II Corinthians 8:21).

The other problem with the situation is that it creates a lot of temptation. I don't know if there have been slip ups since you became a Christian or not. But being my usual blunt self, the situation is not good.

The reason you are not married is completely self imposed. It doesn't cost much to get married if you are willing to give up a fancy wedding and be creative about the costs. For example, my wife and I married thirty years ago. We had about 50 guests and the entire wedding and honeymoon cost us under $500 at the time. But then we decided that we wanted to share our wedding with friends, not impress them with the event. My wife made her wedding dress. I bought a new suit. We had the wedding in a park that cost us nothing. We had a potluck reception. An aunt brought flowers. Family and friends worked together to make a wedding cake. And we stayed in a cabin someone loaned us for our honeymoon. My point is that if you want to get married you can do so before the sunsets tomorrow.