Why is it so hard for me to leave my ex-boyfriend alone? I was involed with him at one time, but I came back to the Lord, got baptized, and am focusing more on Jesus. I thought I was delivered and set free it. There had been times I could do good when I see him and get over it, but I got weak let my guard down when he came around. I know it was a test and I failed. I repented and trying to moved on. I got back up, went to church anyhow and praised God. Anyhow, I'm just saying that it was hard because I still loved him, but I know it is not good for me. I need your opinion please.
I take it that while you became a Christian, your boyfriend decided to remain in the world. I'm assuming that before you became a Christian, you two had been having sex, so when you returned to Christ, you dumped the guy knowing he would tempt you to return to sin. You held out for a while, but eventually you gave in to his advances. At least, this is what I gather from your note.
Why you gave in, I can't say. There isn't enough to go on. Typically it comes from setting boundaries in the wrong place. For example, allowing things to get sensual and thinking you can stop but not realizing until later that instinct takes over. If this was the case, you need to realize that you can't go half-way into sin; it always pulls you in further than you want to go. Sin is always deceitful (Hebrews 3:13).
I'm glad that you didn't let a fall hold you back. You got back up and moved on (I John 1:8-2:1). You should also spend some time thinking about how it is that you fell, not to berate yourself but strategize how to make a repeat more difficult.
The big thing is that you can't let your emotions rule your decisions. If this guy doesn't respect your religion and pulls you into sin, then you don't need that type of person in you life. You need to see people for who they are, even it isn't pretty.
I like to say thanks for your encourging words and scriptures. I will be looking at them and studying on them. As to that situation, it's already worked out. I look it over and began to used widsom to walk with God and not sin!
Thank you and be blessed!