Question:

Iím 34 years. I was recently baptized because I love Jesus and I want to live a holy life. There is this one sin that I have prayed for several times asking God to help me to walk away from this sin. I slept with a born again guy unintentionally. It just happened because he used to comfort me by giving me strong holy Scriptures. My husband was preaching idolatry and force me to follow him. I felt as if we donít deserve each other. He wanted to divorce me because I have changed my religion, but I refused so that we can work things out. I pray for him to change his ways but he couldnít.

I know I have betrayed him, and sadly I have failed my God because Iím one week pregnant. I donít know what to do. This guy and myself have repented, and asked God to forgive us. I am worried about the pregnancy. Since I am a Christian, I know I should not have an abortion. I and this guy, we feel as if Satan has won and we belong to him. I know that this is the biggest sin. Part of me says I can be forgiven but the other part of me says you are wasting your time. You belong to the Devil now because you have slept with the guy and want to have an abortion. There is no way that the God of Israel can forgive you. I belong to hell.†

Please help me.


Answer:

I'll warn you up front that I'm a blunt guy. Not because I don't care -- quite the opposite actually, I care a lot for people. I'm blunt because I've found over the years that this is the quickest way to get points across and to get people to turn from sin.

While you like this guy, I'm not much impressed with him. He claims to be a Christian, but he lead a newborn child of God into sin. "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!" (Matthew 18:6-7). It isn't that he can't turn from his sins, but I want you and him to see how God sees matters. He has some major changing to do in his life if he ever expects to see heaven. And those changes will not include you because you are not available to be his wife, even if you do divorce your husband.

You did not sin by becoming pregnant. You sinned by having sex with a man who is not your husband. Becoming pregnant is simply the natural consequence of sex. The child that has resulted from you sin had nothing to do with your sin. But the fact that you became pregnant made you face the fact that you sinned, and for that it has done you a great favor.

You committed the sin of adultery. Like any sin, it carries serious consequences, but it can be forgive like any other sin. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:9-11). What God requires is that you abandon your sin. "But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord GOD, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live?" (Ezekiel 18:21-23). When you say that God cannot forgive your sin, you are telling a lie because God offers to forgive all sin.

You tell another lie to yourself and others when you say that your adultery was unintentional and "just happened." It might not have been your intention to have sex before and after the event, but at the time it was your intention because sex doesn't "just happen." You make it almost sound as if you tripped and this man's penis ended up in you. Since Jesus said that sin starts with thoughts (Mark 7:21-23), it is clear to everyone else that you've thought about having sex with this man in advance of the actual act. As Solomon says, you can't play with fire and not expect to get burned. "Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:27-29). So rather that sugar coating what happened, let's be clear -- you made a really bad choice at a weak point in your life.

Aborting the child would be adding murder on top of your adultery. You can't fix a sin with more sin. "And why not say, "Let us do evil that good may come"? --as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just" (Romans 3:8). You are going to have to live with the consequence of your momentary lapse into the pleasure of sin. If you can't afford to raise your child, then find a loving family to adopt the child. Give it the good life it deserves.

Whether this man repents of his sins or not, you need to dump him. You ruined your reputation with him and staying near him would only continue to make the situation look bad. If anything concerns me more it is the fact that you keep mentioning him in regards to your decisions. He must be no longer a part of your life.

Satan only has hold of you as long as you continue to volunteer to live in his domain. "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, "The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously"? But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up" (James 4:4-10).