I feel so guilty because we broke down and had sex. Should I leave the man I love?


My boyfriend and I are strong believers. We started a relationship less than six months ago and put a strong principle that there would be no sex. In the last two weeks the principle got broken when we got carried away in love and had sex. Right now I feel too guilty although we have prayed and asked God for mercy! I am very worried! Should I leave the man I love?


You do realize that "strong believers" and committing fornication for the last two weeks are not compatible statements? "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

Your note came in just as I was finishing a response to a similar question. See: Should we break up because we haven't been able to restrain ourselves? Whether you should break up depends. Do you or he argue that the sins you've committed, both the actual fornication and the sins that lead up to it were not that bad? Will one of you be pushing the other to continue to sin -- not just fornication, but also lust, lewdness, and uncleanness? In other words, if you are dealing with a person who is given over to sin and dragging you down with him, then this is not the kind of person you should have in you life.

Thank you very much for your last reply. God bless you richly.

One truth is that we both acknowledge fornication is a sin and have repented of it. It happened just once. We are looking at getting married in a year time. I have always wanted a husband who would make love to me first on our wedding night, but he has repented and still wants our old God fearing relationship back.

Should this ugly two weeks past incident be a reason to leave a lovely and nice gentleman? Or can we continue the relationship without making love again? Has God forgiven us? Why am I the one feeling so guilty?

You ought to feel guilt for committing a sin. It is the people who don't feel guilt over sinning who concern me more. If you did as God commanded, then, yes, as a Christian you are forgiven. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). The guilt reminds you not to repeat the mistake.

Fornication is a sin. Christian stay away from sin. "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?" (Romans 6:1-2).

You both made a mistake. So pick yourselves up and move on. There is not reason that you have to end your relationship unless that relationship drives you further into sin.