Question:

I want to ask your direction and advice please. At the moment I am 26 years old man. I have my own small business and have this problem. I am afraid to be alone. I cant stand to be alone in my home. If my family members go somewhere for couple of days, and after work I go home where nobody is there, I try to sleep but I can't. I sweat and feel uncomfortable. I feel like when I close my eyes something might appear, like a ghost, but if I open my eyes, I am really tired and need to sleep. Then I will give up and decide to go to my friend's house and sleep there. My fear is 50% of ghosts and 50% of thinking the fact that I am alone. If there is a family member in the house, even if they sleep in different room, I feel much better. If they sleep in the same room, I feel really peaceful -- I can sleep really well. What is my problem really? Do you have idea or advice for me? Is that sin to feel afraid to be alone?


Answer:

The fear of ghosts has long been among people. Even the disciples feared ghosts. "And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear" (Matthew 14:26). The problem, though, is that there are no ghosts. As Isaiah points out, "They are dead, they will not live; they are deceased, they will not rise. Therefore You have punished and destroyed them, and made all their memory to perish" (Isaiah 26:14). See Are There "Ghost Among Us"? for more details.

Therefore, half your fear is over something that does not exist. But you have it, most likely, because of your discomfort in being alone.

When faced with an irrational fear, the best solution is to force yourself bit by bit to face your fear. For example, when you are home alone, put on some calm music or turn on a fan to create some background noise. That way the house won't feel nearly as empty. Stay up to read until you can't stay awake anymore and then go to sleep. Sure, at first you won't sleep well, but over time you'll realize that you still do sleep. Gradually, each time will get a little easier.

Courage is not about being unafraid. It is about being able to do what needs to be done despite your fears.

Hi Mr. Hamilton,

I hope you are well. Remember I had problems sleeping by myself? Praise the Lord Jesus, I already managed to sleep by myself. I was afraid, but I kept convincing myself that you said there are no ghosts and the Bible confirms that. So I would calm myself, close my eyes, and try to sleep. I woke up many times, and I just read the Bible and try to sleep again. The second day was easier than the first day.

Thanks Mr. Hamilton. It really means a lot to me.

It is great to hear that you are making progress!

I want to inform you of some progress I have made. It's been more then a year since my question was answered. I am totally different person right now. The truth of scripture and the kindness of those involved on the site has set me free from the fear I have had for so many years. I not scared anymore. I slept in new places, out of town, and out of the region with no problems whatsoever. I just want to say your work change my life forever. Thanks very much. I pray that the Lord Jesus may bless you.

How sweet of you to let me know! I'm so glad you are doing better!