I was 15 years of age and a girl lived just in front of our house. She proposed to me one day. She was 16 years of age at the time. She said to me that she loved me a lot. We exchanged flying kisses and smiles. This went on for three years. I kissed her only twice in the time we knew each other and never had sex with her because I knew that our relationship would never be accepted -- we both are from different castes.
I was involved with a married woman and the girl came to know about our affair. She started neglecting me. I thought that this would be the best time to get away from her. I thought she was a good girl, so I did want to spoil her by being tempted to have sex. I thought she would get married to a good guy and live happily.
But when I broke up with the married woman affair and moved to different city for higher education, I realized that I loved the girl and went back to her to tell her of my love. I also told her I was ready to marry her. But I was too late. She was having an affair with someone who was working with her. They were caught having sex in a nearby forest by some people who lived near my house.
But even then, I went to where she worked and told her that I would marry her. But she said, "What do you have, so that I can marry you?" This was the last time I met and talked to her. I thought that their love was too strong. Why should I interfere?
Whenever I saw her while crossing the streets she smiled at me and went on. Later I learned that she married some other guy but not the guy with whom she was caught in forest.
Today, I don't know anything about her.
My questions to you, sir, are:
- Did I commit sin?
- Did she leave me because I didn't give her the love what she wanted?
- Did she leave me because I didn't have sex with her?
- Did she really love me?
I am 30 years old now. I never had a girlfriend after her. Is this her curse that I am living such a lonely life? This has been troubling me for years.
She has no authority or power over your life. She as no way of carrying out a curse against you. Such ideas are not from Christianity.
Your sin was in your affair with a married woman. In regards to this woman, you did not do anything wrong.
She left you because you left her for the married woman. Once she left, she had no desire to return to you. I suspect that when you asked her to marry you, she wasn't interested in marrying a poor college student. The lack of sex had nothing to do with it -- after all, she left the guy she did have sex with.
Whether she really loved you in the past is something I cannot answer. She could have been toying with you or she could have been serious at the time. Only she could answer that question and it isn't worth asking her.
The reason you haven't had a girlfriend is because you haven't been actively looking for one. I suspect you've going around with a gloomy expression most of the time, which certainly would not make you attractive to anyone. If you are lonely, start cultivating friends. The more people you know, the more likely you will run across someone who available and looking for a husband.