Question:

I would like to know if God judges us through our spouse. When the day of judgment comes for me, will I be judged by my wife's actions? Will my position as head of household be in question for the decisions she made in her life? Please answer as it has been said we become one flesh.

Thanks in advance.


Answer:

Judgment has always been described as an individual event.

"The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).

"But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, who "will render to each one according to his deeds": eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality; but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness -- indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek; but glory, honor, and peace to everyone who works what is good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For there is no partiality with God" (Romans 2:5-11).

Therefore, you will be judged regarding the things that you do, the decisions you make and the motives behind them. "Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one's praise will come from God" (I Corinthians 4:5).

As a husband, you guide your family by leading the way. Whether your family follows you is their decision. You encourage them and support them, but you cannot make the follow you. Submission is a command that your family has to choose to follow.

Who you select as a spouse is a critical decision. After all, "Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits"" (I Corinthians 15:33). A marriage is a close union. Yes, you become one flesh. That refers first and foremost that a husband and wife have sex together. But Jesus points out that it also refers to the merging of two lives into one. "And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6). With such a union, your wife will strongly affect your decisions through life.

But in the end, the husband and wife will each be judged by what they individually did. There can be no blaming the other that they were unduly influenced or pressured into doing wrong.