Question:

Hello,

I am a member of the church of Christ. I had, before getting married, struggled with understanding the gospel, the church and mainly just had sin blocking my way for a long time. I began dating early and at 15 became promiscious. Shortly after flunking out of college, I started dating a guy I'd dated in high school. We ended up having children from this relationship. We did not marry until later. During the years, we lived together and broke up off and on. The cycle continued after we married.

After getting married I felt that I could do better as a Christian and am now doing my best to continue being a part of the body. My husband was baptized in the church, but he quit after he was baptized and now feels the churches of Christ are cults and very judgmental. I will be the first to admit that I now understand the Scriptures better and a lot of things are clearer today than they were before.

Now the cycle is continuing and I have recently found out that he wants to leave me. He tried to make it as if I was the problem: not affectionate, or loving, but mind you I am the only one who works in the home and have always took care of him and my kids. My husband receives a disabilty check and so do my children, so he does help with the bills. I have tried everything I know to do to keep my marriage together, but every time he finds a new girl he thinks is worth leaving, he packs his things up and leaves me and the children. Then he wants to come back after he gets himself in a jam. This morning I found message from a girl I have known him to be with in the past and became angry and told him to leave, which he had already told me he was going to do, just when it's more convient for him.

I don't trust anyone and have had a nervous break down and was hosptialized in the past. I pray about things, but it only gets worst. I sometime feel like my attitude toward him could be better, but I just cannot take the lying, cheating and other women. We no longer get physical, but I believe one day we may if he doesn't leave.

He leaves my children at home by themselves at times while I am at work and that starts a argument because, I don't want to lose my kids as well. I do my best daily to carry the cross but this marriage may be a reason I won't make heaven my home because of my bitterness toward him and anger at times. I am not perfect, I pray for both he and I, but nothing is changing. Please advise. What I should do? I know I married unequally yoked, but I wonder if I must suffer much longer, or just let him go based on the infidelity reasons. Please help.


Answer:

"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

Your husband is not being faithful to his marriage vows. I always recommend that couples ought to try to make their marriage work, even if one spouse is unfaithful. However, it seems clear that you have tried and he is not inclined to behave himself sexually. As a result you do have the option to divorce him because of his sexual sins. After the divorce, you do have the option of marrying somone else, but I would suggest not doing so for a while until you readjust to life without him in your life. It would not do you or your children good to rush into another marriage.