Question:

I always thought my husband had cheated on me while we were married but could not prove it. We didn't have a great marriage. He always treated me like he was ashamed of me. He had a good job and made comments all the time about my lack of intelligence and not being well versed as he was.

I met a man who was himself divorced, and we became very close. He actually complimented me and made me feel like I was smart and desirable. In time we made the mistake of committing adultery. It was one time, and I confessed to my husband later. I asked God to forgive me. My husband did not. He started seeing someone while we were still married but seperated, then said he wanted a divorce. We divorced. We both dated before the divorce was final. He eventually married a woman whose husband died. I never remarried, but have had boyfriends since the divorce.

My question is: Do I have to remain single due to my adultery? I want to date again but haven't dated now for years. Can I still date or would it still be adultery? If I remarry, is it adultery? Am I forgiven?


Answer:

There is no evidence that your former husband committed adultery. I can see your desire to claim it was likely, but a claim is not a fact.

Your adultery is a fact. It didn't start with the sex; it started long before when you sought out another man for comfort. And your husband divorced you because of your adultery. I don't know what efforts were made to reconcile. Such should have happened, but clearly it didn't. That he was seeing other women before the divorce was final was not an indication of all being right on his part. But again, the evidence of adultery is not there.

Jesus said, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). You were divorced because of your sexual sin; therefore, the exception does not apply to you. You are still bound by the covenant that you broke. Any marriage you enter would be adulterous.

As far as you sin being forgiven. All sins are forgiven when you become a Christian. "Then Peter said to them, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit"" (Acts 2:38). When a person sins after becoming a Christian, those sins can also be forgiven. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). But forgiveness of sin does not mean the consequences of sin are erased.