Question:

Hi, my question is regarding depression and suicide. I'm hoping you can answer it. I have been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts for a while. I've come to the conclusion that this is a result of my low self esteem. I know how God feels about me, but I'm bombarded by the worldly views of me, and believe it. I contemplate killing myself at times but have never worked up the nerve to go through with it. This is affecting every aspect of my life. I have no joy and no goals. I actually don't even care anymore. Would you happen to know any Bible verses or have any advice for me?


Answer:

I thought about what you wrote and I would like to help, but I need your help to understand what is going on in your life. For example, the "worldly views of me" could mean just about anything, but I would rather not guess.

I can give you some general advice for the moment. It is very easy to get caught up in feelings, never realizing that feelings are an inaccurate guide. "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). Feelings should be a response to what is happening around you, but for some feelings become the reality for the person. Because it is his own feelings, he never stops to question whether the feelings are accurate or just.

Life is what you make of it. There are ups and downs in everyone's life. The trick, if you will, is whether you let those events control you, or whether you take control of what life hands you. "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need" (Philippians 4:11-12). Paul found contentment because he wasn't looking for life to make him satisfied. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).

When you start using your head instead of your emotions, you will realize that nothing can separate you from God because you are able to choose to follow God. "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:35-39).

"Truly the light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun; but if a man lives many years and rejoices in them all, yet let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. All that is coming is vanity. Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these God will bring you into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from your heart, and put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity" (Ecclesiastes 11:7-10).

Well, since I am a young mother, I get a lot of criticism and am told I will never be anybody. My veiw of myself personally bothers me. I can't stand myself. I hate myself. I am well aware that i am not even the least bit attactive, so that bothers me. I've been told this as well. Honestly, I just want to die.

External looks have nothing to do with a woman's real beauty. "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised" (Proverbs 31:30). It is your personal character that can make you beautiful. "Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel -- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God" (I Peter 3:4).

Has the birth of your child been recent? Are you, perhaps, going through postpartum blues?

Not to try and hit a sore spot, but again, I'm trying to understand, but where is the father in this?