Question:

I'm getting my fiance to come to a church of Christ from being a Baptist. She had decided to study with me and learn the Word together, but it seems still a little hard to do so.

For one, her mother is always in her ear and to be honest she would be mad if her daughter left the church they both go to. As well, her mother feels she has been called to preach in the church. She has also been to a church before where they had a female minister and found it OK.

Also, she's a liturgical dancer in her church and this is one of the main things that we clash on because she feels she's been called to minister by dance. I'm still trying to understand about the liturgical dance, its really new to me. I tried to explain about instrumental music not being in the church and she still says, "What's the big deal? I don't see why it hurts worship."

I'm trying to figure a way to show her the truth on all these issues without butting heads.


Answer:

There are several issues that need to be addressed before you can even approach the dancing issue. First, you need to establish God's authority to have things done His way. Verses such as Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 and Galatians 1:10 tells us that religious practices are not gauged by what pleases the worshiper, but the one who is being worshiped. Your fiance is judging right and wrong based on her own opinion. You have to counter this by not giving your opinion, but going back to what God actually said (I Peter 4:11).

Next, you need to establish that the Bible does contain everything that God wants us to know and do. See: Is the Bible the only source of authority? for an example of proving this. What has to be accepted is that we are not allowed to change what God said. If we did, we would be in authority instead of God.

Then you need to come to terms about rightly dividing God's Word (II Timothy 2:15) between the Old and New Testament. See: Why We Don't Follow the Old Testament.

In all these teachings, don't bring up the other issues. These are foundational points that need to be accepted. They form the common ground where you two can come together in agrement.

If she does accept these points, then you can ask for the scriptural basis for her dancing. If she is doing it as part of worship, then she must believe that God asked for it to be done in the New Testament church. She probably never thought about scriptural justification for what she does, but if she brings up anything, she will most likely pull passages from the Old Testament. See: Is liturgical dancing wrong? The simple question is: Is God pleased when men make up their own ways to worship Him?

Instrumental music becomes the a similar issue. See: Have I been worshiping in vain all these years by using instrumental music in worship?

In regards to women preaching, you merely need to go to I Corinthians 14:34-37 and I Timothy 2:11-15 and ask how a woman can preach in a public assembly and not violate these two commands. See: Can a woman be a preacher?

Either you two will come to agreement over what God said, or she'll dig in her heels, determined to do as she thinks is right. If it is the later, I would strongly suggest that you consider not marrying her because it will become points of contention throughout your lives.