My boyfriend told me he has diabetes. Now I don't know if I want to marry him.

Question:

Hello,

A guy is deeply in love with me for the last several months. I like him too, but I am not sure of my feelings yet. Still he remains the best guy I have ever met and could ever have in my life. Then the other day he told me that he has diabetes since he was small. That has shattered me completely. He wants to marry me. I'm in a great dilemma whether to marry him or not as diabetes comes with its own complications. I want to marry him too, but I am not certain because of this health problem.

At one hand I'm scared of this disease and think I will not to go forward with this. On the another hand, if i choose to leave him I would lose the almost perfect man.

I really really need to decide something. Please help me and tell me what should I do.

Thank you.


Answer:

I think that you don't deserve him if you are going to let a health issue stand in your way. There is no guarantees about the future. You could marry someone and next year they could discover they have some health issue. But a part of the traditional wedding vows is that you will be with your husband in sickness and in health.

Diabetes is a manageable disease. He has a strict diet that he has to follow -- a diet that you will probably find healthy for yourself, even though you don't have diabetes. There are medicines he has to take to keep his blood sugars at the proper levels, so that means there will be more medical expenses for his family than with others. His diabetes might impact his fertility, so there is a possibility that he might not have children. And since diabetes is inheritable, there is a chance that any children he does have might also have to deal with the disease.

There are risks in any marriage. There is no such thing as perfection in this world. Here you know some of the difficulties you must deal with up front. But these are not impossible. There are millions of happily married couples where one or both have diabetes.