I am married with two children and one on the way. I recently discovered that my husband was having an affair with another women. I am questioning if divorce is the right decision. My husband flirts with females online and I have found inappropriate pictures of various females in his phone as well as text messages. This all happened before I discovered his infidelity. I wanted a divorce then but wasn't sure if it was considered adultery under God's laws. He asked for forgiveness but it was hard to overcome these things.
A little story of our history is his infidelity started when we were dating. He got incarcerated for about a year, and when he was released he declared he was a change man. I must admit that after continuous affairs, I picked up on his behavior when he was doing them again. He states, I never really let go of the past when we got married, but how could I if small things, like mentioning the female pictures and text messages with females at all kind of hours, kept occurring? I stayed in this marriage because I do love him and for our children.
After I found out this affair I have been having thoughts of committing suicide, and I have attempted it. That's when I realized that I cannot be in this marriage any more. He is trying to prove to me that he is sorry. When I asked why did the affair ended, he said "it didn't feel right." I forgave him, but I am still hurt. He doesn't want to destroy our family, but I feel our family has already been destroyed. I know God can do the impossible, but where do I say enough is enough? Do I have enough to file a divorce under the eyes of God?
I don't tell people that they should divorce. Divorce is an allowance, but not a necessity. Yes, your husband has committed adultery and doesn't sound as if he has changed his ways. And, yes, if you choose to divorce him, you would have a right to remarry. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).
Before I let you go, let me suggest that for your children's sake that you don't rush off into another marriage if you do decide to divorce your husband. You need to look at what you did. You dated a man who spent time in jail. You knew he was having sex with other women, and I wouldn't be surprised if that included you before your marriage. Yet, despite all that evidence that he would never make a good husband, you decided to marry him anyway. Your children do not need another man like that in their lives.
When it comes to finding a good husband, consider his ability to provide for his family, his ability to remain faithful to his commitments, and his desire to live morally. A man who wants to have sex without being married doesn't put God or you first in his life.
Who knows, the shock of your not tolerating his affairs might just cause your husband to straighten himself out for real.