Question:

Hello,

I am a mom with a particular problem: my son wants to be a part of a play and in it he would be waltzing for a few seconds.

He is a 17-year-old with an aim to preach. He has been raised in the Scriptures all of his life, and we are so pleased with him and his desire to do the work of the Lord.I am trying to gather information to help him understand the type of dancing being done in the Old and New Testaments, but I want to be able to fully explain why he shouldn't be waltzing, even for a few seconds.

His play is centered around the early 1900's and the couples didn't hold one another closely in the waltz during those days. Just wanted to explain that we aren't speaking of the type of ballroom dancing being done these days. The waltz appears innocent to a young person so what would be a good way to approach this, in your opinion? I could just say "no," but head-butting isn't where I want to go with this if at all possible. My husband thinks I'm fighting battles with every little molehill and should use my time to fight the big battles. My deep desire to do God's will was what brought me to send this email. I just want to be right with Him.


Answer:

I'm glad you are concerned about your children's behavior. One of the hard things about parenting is knowing when it comes time to let you children make mistakes. Just as a toddler needs chances to fall down a few times in order to master walking and running, your son will need to face making moral choices because soon he will be on his own. Here the consequences of his choice is fairly small, so it makes a good practice session.

The problems with modern dancing revolve around sexual desire. A few seconds of waltzing probably won't trigger such in him, but he should be aware of the danger. What he also should consider is whether his example is going to be taken by others as approval for dancing in general. He would need to be prepared to explain how his waltzing in the play is different from school dances. Beyond these warnings, I would tell him that while you see a problem with this dance and would prefer that an alternative be found, you are going to leave the decision up to him.

While letting him make and sometimes fail in small decisions, you make your positions in larger matters more significant. He also will come to respect your thoughts more when his incorrect choices does cause him difficulties. He's going to remember that he has no one to blame but himself because mom did warn him that this might happen.

I appreciate your message and agree with all that you've said. It's my nature to get all of the possible facts that I can and then make a decision. If I can do it when buying a home and an auto then, certainly, the dear Lord deserves as much and more.

My son and I read through your message together and, now, he will take this through the next step. No, doubt, he thought I was going to make him leave the play, but I read through the area where you mentioned how it might appear to those that may bring up a school dance or the prom, and that he would need to give an answer.

So, I thank you for being a good "ear," and I plan to work on that "letting go" area because the time just may be right.