I go to a church of Christ. Lately something has been telling me I need to get myself right and that I need to get baptized again for the right reason, but over the years I lost how to love and believe and how to let him in my heart. My conscious keeps telling me all the time to get myself prepared before it's too late. I know you can't pray faith into someone, but I know with work and prayer it can come. I'm learning a lot about the Bible, and I'm studying more, so just pray for me that my heart can change before it's too late.
Baptism is a covenant commitment. It is similar to circumcision in the Old Testament. "In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead" (Colossians 2:11-12).
Covenants are lifetime commitments. A Jew did not have to get circumcised again each time he violated his covenant. A husband doesn't have to remarry his wife if he commits adultery. A person's sin does not nullify the covenant made. It continues to exist. Getting baptized multiple times doesn't make you any more a part of the covenant than you were the first time you entered the water. Nor will it restore the love you seem to have lost.
The prescribed treatment for lost love is changing your ways. "Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place--unless you repent" (Revelation 2:4-5). Rather than focusing on baptism as a way to get back what you lost, you really should be looking at the direction you are heading.
I don't know what you are specifically struggling with, but that you are studying more is definitely a move in the right direction. I pray that you continue to relight the fire in your heart.
Thank you. I'll push at changing my ways, and it's going to be hard, but I'll try to do it. Thank you for writing me back. I didn't think you really would because of your schedule, but keep praying for me that I can find a way to let God into my heart. Thank you.