Question:

Hi,

I had protected sex with a prostitute about a month ago. We had sex for around three to five minutes. I am not sure whether she is HIV infected or not. Is there a possibility that I may get infected with HIV?

I am not married. My mind is always on girls, which encourages me to go to a prostitute or masturbate. Is there any way you can suggest to me to come out of it? It really disturbs my regular work.


Answer:

The length of time doesn't determine whether you pick up a disease or not. Sexual diseases are passed through bodily contact. It is because the skin on the penis and in the vagina are so thin that some diseases, which are hard to get in other ways, are easily passed during sex. Condoms decrease the amount of skin-to-skin contact, thus decreasing the odds of a disease being passed. However, it cannot make the odds zero. One reason is that a condom does cover the entire shaft of the penis. There is usually a gap near the base. Also, there is more skin-to-skin contact than just the genitals and they are not protected. In speaking of having sex with an immoral woman, Solomon warned, "Wounds and dishonor he will get, and his reproach will not be wiped away" (Proverbs 6:33).

While it is easy to focus on high profile diseases, such as HIV, it isn't the only disease that can be passed during sex. For safety, I would recommend that you see a doctor for a general screening against STDs. But going to the doctor isn't going to help you if you continue to put yourself at risk.

The question you ought to be asking yourself is why are you wasting your money. The women you are having sex with don't care about you. You don't care about them. So you spend money for a few moments to act like nothing more than an animal. Again Solomon warns, "Lest you give your honor to others, and your years to the cruel one; lest aliens be filled with your wealth, and your labors go to the house of a foreigner; and you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed" (Proverbs 6:9-11). Thus, your hard-earn money is pocketed by others, while you endanger yourself with diseases, and all you have the show for it is momentary relief from the urge to have sex.

The real problem is the moral issues. Prostitution teaches you to see women as nothing more than objects to have sex with. What should be a loving expression between a husband and wife becomes a thoughtless and careless act that has no meaning. Most women would turn from guys like you because you have a habit of seeing them only externally. You have trouble relating to a woman as a real person.

I assume you are using pornography to masturbate by and there you do the same thing. You see woman only as objects. There is no person, there is no caring, there is only the need to ejaculate. How horribly sad and empty.

How do you stop? First, get rid of the pornography and stop visiting prostitutes. Yes, you are still going to need sexul release through ejaculation, but only do so when the urge becomes distracting. When it is that strong, you won't need to focus on immoral sex to get to orgasm. Second, realize that you weren't put here to be an animal, so stop treating yourself as one. "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). Third, focus on getting to know some women as actual people. Leave sex completely out of conversations and thoughts. Get to know who they are and look for a woman who can be your best friend.

None of these steps are easy, but if you don't start turning yourself around, it won't be accomplished. It is time to realize that God wants you to be special, set apart for holy purposes.