Does having a strong and persistent sexual desire an indication that one is more suited for marriage? Is this a sign from the Holy Spirit that it is time for marriage? What does Paul mean by some people are gifted for singlehood? Does this mean they have less needs, including sexual and emotional? Can a person with strong needs be suited for singlehood?


A strong sexual desire is not a sign. Signs are miraculous events to relay a message. For example, Hezekiah was given a sign that the prophecy concerning his recovery was true. The sign was the sun going backwards. "And this is the sign to you from the LORD, that the LORD will do this thing which He has spoken: Behold, I will bring the shadow on the sundial, which has gone down with the sun on the sundial of Ahaz, ten degrees backward." So the sun returned ten degrees on the dial by which it had gone down" (Isaiah 38:7-8). The sun doesn't naturally go backwards, thus it was a sign. Having a strong sexual desire is quite natural in a young man; thus, it isn't a sign, just a matter of the way you are.

In speaking of his being single, Paul said, "For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that" (I Corinthians 7:6). Paul saw being without a spouse an advantage in his particular situation. It meant he did not have to be concerned about a wife and children while his life was in danger because of his preaching of the gospel. "I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress -- that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you" (I Corinthians 7:26-28). Paul's recommendation for being single was born out of concern over the current persecution that Christians were and would be facing. It was not meant to be a firm rule, but a suggestion if one could live by that suggestion. Getting married was never wrong, it was ordained by God from the beginning (Genesis 2:24). But sometimes it can be better to delay a marriage if such will cause hardships. However, it isn't advisable to delay a marriage if it causes the couple to be be tempted to sin. "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9). A delay is not worth losing your soul over because of sin.

If you have a strong sexual desire, then be looking for a wife. Don't think you are being more religious or more holy because you are trying to abstain. "Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations -- "Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle," which all concern things which perish with the using -- according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh" (Colossians 2:20-23). Giving in to fornication because you increased your temptation is not the way to be more holy.