In Hebrews 12 it talks about how Easu could not repent. My life is rampant with sin, and I can't get rid of it. I think I'm like Easu. He begged for repentance with bitter tears. My mind is more corrupt than you can imagine. He could not repent, and what if I can't either?
"Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears" (Hebrews 12:15-17).
Read this again more carefully. What defined how Esau lived? God said he was a fornicator and a profane man. It was because he did not care about spiritual matters that sold half his inheritance for a bowl of soup. "Thus Esau despised his birthright" (Genesis 25:34). Esau was sorry that he did not get the blessing. He sought for a change in his position diligently, but he did not change his life -- he did not repent. He wanted the world to change to match his life.
Please notice that nowhere does it say that Esau could not repent of his sins. It says he was rejected for a blessing because he made no room for repentance. All his weeping and begging did no good because he wanted to be blessed while remaining in his sins.
You are correct that by yourself you cannot get rid of sin. The one who sells himself as a slave has no money to buy his own freedom. "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25). God did want man could not do. He offers a way out of sin with the penalty paid in full. What He demands in exchange is comparison is so little that anyone can do it.
- He asks that you learn from Him. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek" (Romans 1:16).
- We have to believe what we read and believe on Jesus. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16).
- With that belief, we cannot remain in sin. "Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent" (Acts 17:30).
- That belief also demands that we not keep it secret. "But what does it say? "The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation" (Romans 10:8-10).
- And then we enter into the covenant with God, sealing it with baptism, putting off sin. "In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses" (Colossians 2:11-13).
You can repent. You can turn away from sin to walk the path of righteousness. Such a decision does not mean you will be sinless. The problem of sin must be battled all through life, but with the commitment to God comes the weapons for dealing with sin.