Question:

Hello,

I am a Christian in my early twenties who has been rasied in the faith since I was born. I have generally considered myself to be a good Christian; although, I will admit I have made many mistakes. I am getting bit personal, but since I was a teenager I suffered from an addiction to Internet pornography. I don't blame anyone but myself for that mistake, but I recently confessed my addiction to my pastor and a trusted family member. I have since stopped that behavior, praying everyday to God to keep me on the "Straight and Narrow;" although, I still feel the temptations from time to time.

However, I suffer from another internal problem. About a month ago I had a really bad thought concerning the devil. I initially tried to shake off the thought and move on, but I felt so horrible about thinking that thought that for close to a week I thought I'd lost my soul. To make things worse I started to have horrible and blasphemous thoughts about Jesus. I kept praying for forgiveness and to be mentally healed, but the guilt was driving me mad, and I began to fear I was suffering from "demonic oppression" which made things worse.

However after talking about it with family, friends, and my pastor I feel I am on the long road to spiritual recovery. Working even harder to become a better Christian and trying to keep my faith strong and in Him. 

However my fear of the devil still lingers and I still have short bouts of dark thoughts. Recently I was offered a job and was very excited about it. However, I had been struggling with bad thoughts most of the day, and when I was told about the job I had the thought "Thank you Satan" I immediately froze up and got really scared. I tried to shake off the thought, but it has been scaring me ever since. I know I didn't really mean it, and I have asked for God's forgiveness, but the fear is still with me, and now I'm not even sure if I should take the job because I fear it has somehow become "tainted" and doing the job would be an affront to God. I just want to be a good Christian and do what's right by God.

I guess my overall question would be if you think I should take the job? In case your wondering it is doing graphic designs and I made it clear I would not do anything satanic. I am also curious to hear your thoughts about the "bad thoughts" as well as demonic oppression. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I apologize for the long story I just wanted to give you an accurate history about myself (flaws and all). Thanks again.


Answer:

It is not uncommon for young people, especially young men in the developing years, to become compulsive. You've battle one compulsion: pornography, but now another one is rearing its ugly head.

If I told you not to think of a pink penguin, then the first image in your mind is a pink penguin. The reason is that in order not to think of something, you first have to think about what you want to avoid. Satan uses that with God's law. "

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