Question:

My husband was grossly involved with and even addicted to pornography. His obsession with porn went beyond the normal curiosity that people have with it. We separated for a year. I had an affair out of foolishness and retaliation because he refused to put away the pornography. I repented and never had another affair. He said he forgave me and we remained married for many years afterward.

After awhile, he stopped coming home at night and stopped contributing financially to our household. I didn't really care because I didn't love him anymore, but I wanted the illusion of a family for my children. I stayed with him an additional two years but realized I was raising our children alone because he would only come home to take the kids to school in the morning. He eventually revealed that he had affairs with other women and prostitutes. I filed for divorce on the grounds of both abandonment and adultery. Will I be able to marry again, biblically, even though I committed adultery?


Answer:

"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

Jesus stated that when a person divorces because his spouse was guilty of fornication, he has the choice to remarry. The person who committed the fornication does not have the right to remarry and remains bound by the terms of the covenant made.

If your husband had chosen to divorce you when you had committed adultery, it would have been within his rights and he would have had the right to marry someone else. But that sin was properly forgiven, so it is no longer an issue.

Unfortunately, years later he has been committing adultery. I hope that you didn't push him toward sin because of your anger at him. It doesn't excuse his sin, but a Christian's goal is to help others live righteously and not give them "excuses" for sinning. I'm sorry you weren't able to work out the problems.

Because of his adultery, you did have the right to divorce him and you do have the right to marry again, if you so choose.