I have been a Christian almost all my life. My father pastors a church and I was brought up in the way of God. I have been engaged for several years, but my fiancÚ and I live in two different countries. Recently, I found myself engaging in sexual immorality with people whom I should not even have anything to do with, and now it has destroyed my relationship and torn me apart. Now my questions are:
- Can God still forgive me and give me a fulfilled life?
- Can I still live happily as a married woman without my sins haunting me?
- Can I still marry the perfect will of God for my life?
- And can He restore all that I have lost to sin?
- Is it possible for my fiancÚ to forgive me and marry me?
God can and does forgive all sins that are repented of by His people. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). While you claim to be a child of God, you haven't been living the life of a Christian, at least not recently. Who your father is or how you were raised does not make a difference. Only you can dedicate yourself to serving God. "Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:12-13).
Forgiveness doesn't mean the consequences of your sins will be erased. All that can be done is making the best of what now exists. When David was forgiven of his sin, the consequences of what he still had to be faced. "So David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the LORD." And Nathan said to David, "The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the LORD to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die"" (II Samuel 12:13-14). I don't know if your fiance will forgive you or if he will call off the wedding -- that is his decision and he hasn't discussed it with me.
Whether your sins will haunt you depends on whether you leave them behind or not. Those sins will make a impact in your life. The question is whether you let that impact spur you to follow God or not. I can guarantee that if you continue this path of sin, life will get worse, but if you turn to God it won't be as bad as it could have been.