Am I doing right in reconciling with my former husband?



Thank you in advance for reading and answering this question.

I have a problem. I got married about 15 years ago to a man I'd been in love with since I was 17 years old. During the marriage we had several problems, some physical and emotional abuse, and also I committed adultery with a man I had met at work and that affair went on for a while. My husband also during our marriage, without plainly committing adultery, looked at pornographic images all the time and looked on singles web sites.

Needless to say after a few years ago I divorced him because I was no longer in love with him. I was tired of being with him. I prayed about it. I knew the divorce was wrong, but since I had already pretty much broken our vows in the eyes of God, I figured our marriage was broken anyway, and I had a lot of guilt for having done that.

Since then a couple of years have gone by and we both have re-committed our lives to God and are reconciling. We have children together as well from when we were married. We treat each other much better now and with a lot more respect. I am falling back in love with him, and he with me. We have both said we are going to remarry each other some day. Neither of us remarried, or even dated, or anything else, after the divorce. And we have both repented of our sins several times. My question is: Are we forgiven by God? And mostly, am I forgiven of my adultery? Is it okay that we are together and talking about remarrying? I completely know how wrong I was in doing what I did.

Thank you and God bless.


"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife" (I Corinthians 7:10-11).

As you understand, your adultery was wrong, his lust for other women was wrong, and your divorce was wrong. It sounds as if you straightened out your lives and with that your lives are coming back together now that your sins are no longer driving you apart. You are doing what you are supposed to be doing. God wants you and your husband back together.

When you turn back to God, He forgives: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). Notice the promise: God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. God always keeps His promises.

I don't know your backgrounds, but I'm assuming that you both were truly Christians at one time and not just people claiming to be following Christ. See "What Saves a Person?" for more details. Given that, then when you confessed your sins to God and repented (changed), then you were forgiven.

I wish you well in putting your marriage back together.

Thank you, sir, so much for your words! I appreciate your answer, and I absolutely understand now. Thanks a lot!