Is touching your girlfriend wrong in God's eyes?


My girlfriend and I have been dating each other for a while now. She's a very serious Christian and she's trying to keep herself as clean as possible, so every time I try to touch her she gets mad. I wonder if touching is a wrong thing in God's eyes.   


You didn't say where you were touching or for what purpose. Someone asked a similar question a while ago, so please read: What types of touching is forbidden? If you have further questions, let me know.

I've read the article you sent, but I still have some questions. Well, I touched her breast but just the top part not her nipples or anything. I also tried to touch her posterior, and I think almost everyone does that because when people are in a serous relationship they just felt really comfortable.

Also, is sleeping together in the same room is wrong, even if she's sleeping on the bed and I sleep on the floor about three yards away from her?

I just want to get some clarification on these things. I really appreciate your help!

Both words and actions have meaning and the context in which they occur defines that meaning. That is why I asked you about your purpose. It is one thing, when trying to cross a crowded room, to accidentally brush against a woman's breast. It is something totally different to place your hand on a woman's breast when no one else is around. The two actions convey very different messages.

A woman's breast is a part of her private areas related to sex and sexual feelings. You putting your hand on her breast is a message saying that you think her body belongs to you and that you are interested in having sex. It would be equivalent to a girl putting her hand between your thighs up near your groin. You might claim that nothing directly sexual was touched, but the intention is clear by the action.

While male sports players are often seen slapping each other's back-ends, it is not proper for a man to treat the woman he is interested in like some guy. Placing your hand on her backside again conveys a message that you think she belongs to you.

Yes, people in a serious relationship do sit closer and are more comfortable with each other. However, that comfort presents its own dangers of taking liberties that lead to too great of a temptation. You don't let your guard down against being tempted to sin just because you like someone really well. I suspect that you are trying to speed things up. You see that people who are serious are closer, so you attempt to get closer thinking that this will make the relationship more serious. It doesn't work this way. When the heroine in the Song of Solomon started daydreaming of cuddling up with her fiance, she stopped and made this comment: "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases" (Song of Solomon 2:7). You can't make love happen by pushing things too fast. It is like trying to approach a deer or a gazelle. Move too fast and the animal flees. Love is the same. Rush it and you'll lose it.

A man who is interested in a girl has no business sharing the same bedroom, even if they sleep apart. First, because of the privacy, there is a strong temptation to move into the other bed because anyone who might be watching is asleep. ""Can anyone hide himself in secret places, so I shall not see him?" says the LORD; "Do I not fill heaven and earth?" says the LORD" (Jeremiah 23:24). As a Christian, you and she should be seeking to minimize temptations, not increase them.

A second problem is clothing. Most people don't wear much at night. The two of you do not need to see each other scantily clad. "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Besides as a male, you have erections in the morning. She should not be seeing your shorts bulging when you get up.

The third problem is your reputations. If you heard that a friend of yours was sleeping in the same room as his girlfriend, what would you and everyone else who heard this assume? As her boyfriend, you should be protective of not only her but also of her reputation. Paul understood the need to be careful about your reputation. While arranging for money to be sent to the poor Christians in Judah, he asked that other men be picked to carry the funds. It isn't that Paul wasn't trustworthy, he didn't want even a rumor of something bad being done if it could be avoided. "Avoiding this: that anyone should blame us in this lavish gift which is administered by us -- providing honorable things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men" (II Corinthians 8:20-21). It isn't a matter of whether you have the strength of will to stay out of her bed. It is about providing an environment where it would not occur to people that you might be doing things you should not be doing.