Question:

I have another question that has been bothering me for a while. A sister in Christ left the church for a reason that I am still confused about. She became a Christian about a year ago and seemed really happy about her decision. She was faithful, committed, and opened her home to members of the body. About a few months ago she stopped coming church, and no one heard from her. Members called her, and at times she didnít answer her phone or return calls. Some members who have spoken to her understood that she was not happy with the church or some members. She claimed that some members were not lovable and didnít seem to care. To my understanding this is not true. The members had frequently opened their homes to her, some had regular conversations with her, they even stayed behind after church to be with her for the afternoon. Other circumstances may have influenced her decision, but I am not clear as to what they are.

Based on what other members have said, she seems to believe that the church is a perfect place with no problems or challenges. I understand that members have issues and some continually are faced with trials, but she is under the impression that none of us should sin and that we should be perfect. She was always complaining about individuals, how the church should be this way, and we should be more loving. I really believed in my heart that she is looking for something else, which has nothing to do with developing a relationship with God, as she is a recent divorcee. It has been an issue with me because she seem geniune with good intentions.

It has even gotten to a point where she is avoiding any contact.


Answer:

I know of no perfect solution to this. I'm not certain there is a solution. The parable of the sower (Matthew 13:18-23) is there to warn us that becoming a Christian isn't the end of the battle. People fall away for a variety of reasons. You are correct that excuse of not being loveable enough is just a way for her to avoid the real issue, whatever that may be. When people don't want to admit that they have a problem, the easiest solution is to blame others, and the one that sticks the easiest is vague charge that isn't definable.

If I had to make a guess, I suspect she is among those who never established any root in word of God. Life got hard and instead of learning to lean on God and the brethren, she gave up.

About all you can do is let her know you would like her to join the brethren once again, but that in her current state she has left God out of her life. Ultimately, the choice is hers to make.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls" (Hebrews 12:1-3).