Should I go to my aunt's civil union?


I write to you today with a question. I am relatively sure that emotion makes it more difficult than the question itself truly is.

An aunt of mine is a lesbian. The state that I am in recently legalized civil unions. Being that it is not truly a wedding but instead (acknowledged by the couple themselves) a means to gain the tax and legal benefits that would have been afforded only married couples, the question is: what stance should be taken on this mess? The challenge is that I do care greatly for my aunt, and thus I don't wish to hurt her (or the rest of my family) by not being there for them. However, I do realize that at the same time the entire situation is wrong. My wife and I are both torn between the ties to family, and the fact that we both know what is happening is wrong.

With it being acknowledged by everyone as not being a wedding, does that make a difference?

Can you help me make sense of this mess that emotions just make worse?


"... who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them" (Romans 1:32).

It is true that our society is busily in the process of thumbing its collective nose at God. Just a bit prior to the statement above, Paul said, "For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature" (Romans 1:26). Denying this fact doesn't change it or make it go away.

In society we understand that supporting a crime is wrong. The driver of the getaway car is held accountable even though he didn't hold up the bank. What Paul is pointing out is that this is true in general. Giving approval to someone's sin makes you guilty.

I know it is hard to take a stand against those you love. I have some dear friends who have gone off into drugs. I haven't stopped caring for them, or trying to persuade them to return to righteous living, but I don't help them be druggies.

Going to this civil union is to declare your support. If this was only about tax advantages, then why invite family and friends? People make investments and adjustments in their lives to put them into a better financial position all the time, but they don't throw parties.

"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple" (Luke 14:26).

When a Christian follows God and his family chooses not to, there are bound to be conflicts. If you can't put God over family, then Jesus says you can't be his follower. It is hard, but being in God's family is so much better.

"So Jesus answered and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel's, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time -- houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions -- and in the age to come, eternal life"" (Mark 10:29-30).

Thank you very much. Much of what you said, I was already considering. I just needed a rational view of someone removed from the situation. The "only for tax advantages" was a line that my mother was trotting out to try to guilt us into attending. Thank you for helping me to look at it without the emotion.