Question:

I have a "leader" in our church who always explains that he is not arrogant because he does not hold himself in a higher value than others; however, his actions say otherwise. He will take any chance he gets to show off his biblical knowledge, he will constantly tell people they are wrong, he will abuse his leadership by being bossy and micromanaging (while doing nothing), and when I actually confronted him with it, he told me he does not value my opinion or anybody else's unless it is his mother, brother, or one of his specific friends. I am friends with this person, but he makes it very hard to stay his friend with his actions. I'm at my wits end because I know we have leaders for a reason, but what am I to do when they do things like this?

Answer:

Your charges are so vague that I cannot tell if the problem is on his end or yours. A person can be knowledgeable about the Bible and state what he knows. That isn't necessarily showing off, it can be just being who he is. I've seen a lot of people take offense when someone points out what the Scriptures teach. They don't have an answer, they can't argue against God, so they belittle the messenger instead. "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake" (Matthew 5:11).

If someone is in the wrong, pointing out the problem is not a wrong. "And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them" (Ephesians 5:11).

I'm not saying you are wrong, I'm just pointing out that nothing you've said actually proves a case that your friend is wrong. When a person is in a position of leadership, it also means he is a target for every grip. That is why Timothy was told, "Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses" (I Timothy 5:19). Having amble and solid proof is very important when dealing with a problem.

Remember, true leaders in the church are there for the benefit of the members. "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you" (Hebrews 13:17). Don't make your friend's job harder -- it is hard enough as it is.