Question:

Thank you for the advice you gave in response to questions people have asked about how to avoid sexual immorality. According to one of your statements, you advise people to marry in order to avoid such sin. The issue is that I've reached the age to marry, but I have no money to accomplish that. Will you help me man of God?


Answer:

"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9).

"Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, "I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter." ... So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her" (Genesis 29:18, 20).

How valuable is the one you love to you? How are you proving to her that your love is real?

I don't know what the rules for marriage are in your country, but often times people make situations seem harder and more dire than reality because they don't consider all options. In my country people will claim that they can't marry because they want an elaborate and expensive wedding. Yet, anyone can get married at a courthouse for little money. I do weddings solely for the "cost" of studying with me from the Bible about what makes a good marriage -- I'm sure there are other preachers who do the same.

I reallythank you for your concern and response to my case. I really love the woman I want to marry and she knows that I love her, but there are things I am supposed to do in order to make her my wife. For instance, we still pay dowry to the bride’s family, give some gift to her kinsmen, and settle some organization that she belongs to like a young women association. Of a truth, court marriage is not accepted in my country, but that doesn’t mean that I’m wanting a high-class society wedding.

In respect to your last statement about “wedding people solely for the "cost" of studying with you from the Bible about what makes a good marriage,” I must say that I would really appreciate it if you will enlighten me more as an experienced minister on how I can make my own marriage a good one when I finally marry the woman that I love dearly.

Thanks and God bless you.

In mentioning Jacob's marriage from the Bible, I hoped you would realize that not all dowries have to be monetary. True, most are in the form of money, but Jacob didn't have a bride-price and, yet, found a way to offer a dowry that was acceptable and valued by all concerned. If you would let me know what country you are in, I would be curious to learn what requirements are imposed on you by your government.

The material I use for studying with young people about marriage is found on this web site. It is called "Preparation for a Lifetime." If you want to read through this, I would be happy to discuss it with you and answer any questions you might have.