Question:

I divorced my husband for committing adultery and he is now trying to contact me. He has been with the other woman for three years. I am not sure if they married or not. How would God view me if I attempt to work things out with him?


Answer:

"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

What you first need to determine is if your husband has repented of his sin -- not that he just says he is sorry, but that he is doing things that prove to you that he has changed his ways. A man who says he wants to come back while continuing to live with the other woman would not be someone to trust, even if he says they aren't sleeping together anymore.

When a spouse sins and shows genuine remorse and change in behavior, I encourage the couple to reconcile. If there is no sign of repentance, I tell the faithful one not to expect a leopard to change his spots. "Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil" (Jeremiah 13:23). Repentance isn't impossible. It can truly happen, but far too many claim to repent without changing their behavior.