My wife recently was thinking of changing jobs, going back to working at a tanning salon she†once worked at. The owners wants her to be the store manager and take on more roles than when she worked there before. She brought something up to me tonight that bothered and upset me. One of the new things she would do is "spray tanning" for customers. Most customers are completely naked when they get the spray tan.
Men also get naked, and that's the part that made me feel not okay -- that my wife would be putting spray tan on naked men. A woman seeing other women naked seems okay, just as men seeing men naked seems okay. But a married woman spraying naked men doesn't seem okay with me. Am I wrong with thinking that? I would never put myself in a situation where I would see naked women when I have a wife. My eyes should only see my wife's naked body.
She told me that it only seems wrong to me because I am a man, and I think of that type of situation as sexual, where to a women would not. She looks at it like when you go to the doctor, and the doctor sees you naked.
I am torn and could use some advice, please help. This seems like a sin to me.
"And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it" (I Corinthians 12:23-24).
In every doctor's office I've gone to, they go out of their way to avoid seeing patients unclothed, which is how it should be. There are occasional times it can't be avoided, but in every one of those situations the medical staff makes sure there are at least two people in the room and preferably at least one is the same gender as the patient. Hence, I don't accept your wife's argument that it is just like a doctor visit. She is glossing over the situation.
It is interesting that she says you are seeing this as a potential sexual situation because you are a man. But she is forgetting that the clients will sometimes be male too. What might they be thinking?
I, too, have a problem with this. It is an immodest situation being created for a vanity product that serves no useful purpose. I would suggest telling your wife that the family doesn't need income that badly for her to be in potentially sensual situations with other men. While she might claim not to be turned on by this, she cannot guarantee that she isn't creating lustful thoughts in her clients. Lust is sinful and to cause it another when it can be avoided is sharing in the sin. Paul stated "who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them" (Romans 1:32).
What is also wrong is that she is applying a different standard for herself than she does for others. Job understood the dangers of lust and so said, "I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?" (Job 31:1). Sin is dangerous enough without giving it an open door. "A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself; the simple pass on and are punished" (Proverbs 27:12).
When you became husband and wife, you entered into a joint venture. If either one of you suspects a problem, then at a minimum it ought not be done for the sake of the other.