Question:

I am a woman who has had an affair. I am really feeling convicted about many things when it comes to fixing the mess I have made of my life.

I have been married three times. I got pregnant when I was 17 and married the father of my child. That marriage lasted several years. I had an affair before that marriage ended. I got married again to another man and that marriage lasted only a year. Then I met another man and after several months of dating we got married. It has been many years now that we have been married.

I think you can see a pattern in my marriages. Not one of them did I prayerfully give consideration to. As I look back I see I act on emotion too much. All of these men I had sex with before marriage. I want to put God first in my life and do what He would have me to do. Do I work on the marriage? How do I know that God joined us together? The man that I am with now wants to live for God also. We want to glorify God in our individual lives and also as a couple. Is that possible? Any advice would be helpful as I am really trying to make God the center of all my choices now and a lot of things I read are confusing (including the Scripture).


Answer:

Notes like yours sadden me because I can't give you an answer that will satisfy you. You didn't have an affair, you had a long series of affairs. I take it that your marriages did not end because your husbands were unfaithful to the marriage covenants. I get the impression that it was more because of your own unfaithfulness to the marriages.

Jesus stated, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). Because your former marriages did not end because of sexual infidelity on the part of your partner, it means you are still bound by your marriage covenant. That being the cause you and the man you are currently married to are committing adultery.

If you want to live righteously, then you will have to end the adulterous relationship. You have no right to marry again until your original husband dies (Romans 7:2-3).