This was asked of me by a friend. I don't know the answer. I told her I don't think shame can turn to pride.
Can being ashamed of something be misinterpreted? Such as having a house that has become unliveable, and being overhelmed by it? I am ashamed because I let it get that way. I would like help, but I am afraid of rejection and attitudes from others who will want to help but will nag about it and will say how could you let this happen? They will help you and yet at the same time will kick you while you are down.
Your friend appears to be suffering from depression. But regardless, she is letting her personal pride get in the way. She wants help but on her terms. She wants someone to help her clean up her own mess, but she doesn't want any advice on keeping it clean or taking responsibility for your own living conditions. She's planned in advance to reject any advice, labeling it nagging and kicking before she has even heard them out.
If that is what she wants someone to clean her house without comment, she should hire a cleaning service. If she wants friends who care about her, she needs to be willing to listen and learn how to live life better. Christian friends are not free maid services, they are people who will encourage and prod you into being a better person while they help you get there.