I have a question about my relationship. I have three children out of wedlock by two different men. I am currently with my youngest two's father for the last seven years. My question is: I have always heard of karma. My children's father and I got together seven years ago while he was in a relationship with the mother of his two eldest children. (They were not married.) We had sexual relations which led us to living together and having children. I was always persecuted against for cheating with a man who was involved. But his answer was that he had never felt true love until I came along and he was never in love with his oldest children's mother. We had a string of bad luck this past five years, which led him to prison. I have the feeling that I was destined to have a bad relationship because of what I had done and him. Is this true?But we honestly love each other beyond words can describe. We plan to marry next year.


One doesn't have to go looking for a mystical karma to explain what is happening. You've been making a long series of bad choices which lead to the typical bad consequences. You had sex and a child with a man who didn't stick around, that isn't a great surprise. You chased after a man who was willing to have sex and two children with a woman he says he didn't truly love. But he says nice things to you, so that doesn't matter. Now he is in jail and you are hoping that he'll marry you when he gets out.

Dear, he's not in jail because of bad luck. He's there because he was caught breaking the law! Quit making up excuses and face reality. The man is no good and you have given zero indication that either he or you plan to straighten up your lives. I feel so sorry for the children being raised in this environment.

God gave us laws because they tell us what works and what fails. "And the LORD commanded us to observe all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is this day. Then it will be righteousness for us, if we are careful to observe all these commandments before the LORD our God, as He has commanded us" (Deuteronomy 6:24-25). But you have been walking contrary to these laws and seem surprised that the bad things God warned everyone about really does happen.

"Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. A good man obtains favor from the LORD, but a man of wicked intentions He will condemn. A man is not established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous cannot be moved" (Proverbs 12:1-3).

You are only destined to continue to have bad results if you continue to insist on doing things wickedly. "He has brought on them their own iniquity, and shall cut them off in their own wickedness; the LORD our God shall cut them off" (Psalm 93:24). The only sensible solution is to make an immediate change in the course of your life. Stop taking sweet-talking men into your bed. Insist that the next man you ever sleep with is a man who loves you enough to first commit his life to you in marriage. Then find a man who will be a good provider and a good role model for your children, someone you will be proud if your children grow up to be just like him. Then you might start seeing your fortune change. And for yourself, start learning the ways of righteousness so that you can both improve your life and the lives of your children.