Question:

I have a problem with one of my boys. A few times he has had a wet spot when being spanked. At first I was shocked and thought I was over doing the spanking and from the pain of the spanking that he had lost control, but it was not any harder or lighter then any other time and it was given with the same thing, a slipper that is in my home for the sole purpose of giving a spanking. Maybe you can comment on this as well, if I am doing the right thing by doing this. I have tried a rod and have to admit it was highly effective of that there is no question, but the ugly mean angry marks it left on one of my girls behind shocked me. The giving of the spanking was worse for me then it was on my daughter. So I banned the use of the rod and will only consider its use for only the most heinous and deplorable of offences.

What should I do?


Answer:

The question about is a severe abbreviation of the note originally sent. I doubt that question is genuine as the entire note completely focuses on techniques of spanking and never touches on the true issue of changing a child's behavior, where spanking is just one tool in a parent's "toolbox" of molding a child. I have found in the past that people who are focused on discussing technique in extreme detail are typically sadists who get their jollies thinking about hurting other people.

If this one paragraph that I copied were true, the mother is abusing her children. The proper use of a rod (switch), stings but does not leave marks. Excessive force or excessive blows will damage the skin and such is an indication of an abusive parent. A child who is so terrorized by punishment that he loses bladder control, even before the punishment begins, as later statement claims, is another indication of abuse. There is also indications that this form of punishment is being overused -- punishment is being given out for punishment sake and little or no interest is given toward improving the child's behavior.

This mother needs to get immediate help in learning how to properly raise children.