Question:First I want to say I really enjoy this web site. I am a sister in Christ, and have been most of my life. I happened to marry a non-Christian man. I would like to say to any of the sisters, or brothers, out there that are searching for a husband or wife, to please seek a Christian in the†church†. I am having such a hard time in this marriage, because I want so much for him to obey the gospel and become a Christian. He seems to get mad when I bring up religion, I do not argue with him, I† just† back off when I see him getting upset. He calls me brainwashed because I believe that there is only one church you can read about in the Bible, and the only one where salvation is. How do I deal with this man? I know that all I can do is live my life according to how God would have me to. Please give me some suggestions.
You are not the first to tell me this. I have been repeatedly told by both men and women that they realize years later that it was a mistake to marry someone who wasn't interested in the church. And I know that the odds are that someone married to a non-Christian will eventually fall away because of the various difficulties.
However, what's done is done. The best thing that you can do is follow the advice of Peter. "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear" (I Peter 3:1-2). More husbands are won over when they realize that their wife is a better person because she is a Christian.
Unfortunately many woman can't believe example alone is enough, so they constantly bring up their desire for their husband to become a Christian. They don't realize that repeatedly bringing up a subject is perceived as nagging by men. Woman analyze situations by talking about possibilities from numerous directions and thus they gravitate to solutions which are sound no matter what happens. But the downside is that they may never get to a solution. Men tend to analyze situations for the shortest path to a solution. While they may not be certain it is the best solution, it is a solution that works. Neither approach is bad, but it does cause conflicts of interest at times.
So when issues arise, point out the scriptural answer and then let it go. Meanwhile, live a quiet godly life. Look for opportunities to nudge your husband in the right direction and pray that he comes to the truth before the end of his life. It might take time, but the results are worth it.
Thank you, this is a very encouraging answer. One thing I can truly be thankful for is my strong faith that I am in the right place. I am thankful that my husband does come to church with me, and I do pray daily that God will spare his life and open his heart before it is too late. Thanks again for your answer.