I have been going through a break-up in a relationship for over three weeks and I am still saddened about it. My girlfriend was a faithful member of the church. It seems that I did something wrong toward her. I was told that I needed help from a professional counselor. I was also told that I manipulated her. I don't understand how I manipulated her. If I did, I did not intend to. I have tried writing her a letter of apology, calling her, etc. She wants nothing to do with me now. She is very upset with me. It has been two weeks since I wrote her the letter and she has not responded in any way. How do you really apologize to somebody for doing wrong against them? She will not accept my apology or talk to me. Please help me.

You're finding this difficult because you haven't been told what you've done wrong, other than in a vague general way. Since you are left guessing any apology that you offer sounds insincere and self-serving; that is, it comes across that you are only apologizing in order to re-establish the relationship.

I am very willing to help you sort this out, but email might be too slow. I need a lot more information to see if I can help you figure out what went wrong, which means a lot of questions. I've sent you information on how you can contact me directly.

Meanwhile, here are some questions I would like you to start thinking about:
1) Why did you say your girlfriend was a member of the church? What happened?
2) What event happened just before the big breakup?
3) Is she your first girlfriend?
4) How long have you been together?
5) How far did you go in this relationship, sexually that is. I know that you are a member of the church, but I can't make any assumptions. Even David, a man after God's own heart, slipped sexually.
6) What is your goal? If she would have you back tomorrow, would you want to continue the relationship?

I will give you the best advice that I can, but it will only be as good as what I know. If sin was involved I want you to know that I keep everything private and I don't hold such things against other people. My sole goal is to help people get to heaven. Given things that other people have come to me about their lives, I doubt there is much you can say that would shock me. But all things are fixable with God.