Question:My wife is a Jehovah's Witnesses member andáI wanted to ask what I need to do to convert her. She is not yet open for discussion, though she is not yet baptized in their congregation. It seems to me that she's insisting on defending her religion even though I cite her many passages to prove the folly of her religion. She even suggested that I have a debate with her older brother regarding their religion. What should I do? I love her and want her to be saved also. Maybe you have some suggestions on this matter.
The only means of conversion available to us is the word of God. "The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul" (Psalm 19:7). Conversion is something you can encourage, but it isn't something that you can make happen. Your wife will have to want to change.
Attacks against her current beliefs are unlikely to persuade her. Many people stubbornly entrench themselves against attacks rather than consider what is being said. I think that is why Peter told wives of non-believers, "Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear" (I Peter 3:1-2). In a similar way, you need to show yourself to be a good Christian husband. When she sees how much being a Christian means to you and how it shapes your life, it will become more real to her.
There will be opportunities to talk about the word of God daily. Use the opportunities as they come up. My greater successes with Jehovah's Witnesses have been the times I could ask them where they found one of their odd beliefs in the Bible. Their religion teaches that they base everything on Scripture, but far too often the Scriptures they are given have nothing to do with their beliefs. For example, I read in one of their books that the spirit who visited Saul in Endor was a fallen angel. I knew this wasn't in the Bible, but I asked upon what verse was this based. The couple my wife and I were studying with said, "It's on the page." However, I politely pointed out that none of those verses mentioned fallen angels in connection with Saul. This got them scrambling for a verse, which they couldn't find. A long series of questions like this got them really disturbed as they realized how much of their religion was based on things not found in the Bible.
I would decline "debating" with her brother. A Jehovah's Witnesses tactic is to bring in an experienced teacher when a new member runs into a problem he can't handle. The teacher typically provokes an argument and then declares this as proof that the person cannot be saved. Thus they feel justified in leaving, even though the points are never answered.
If she sees you calmly living the Christian life, studying your Bible, being able to show from the Scriptures the things you believe and do, then it will make an impact on her. When you sweetly ask what passage some belief she just espoused is based upon and she can't find one, it will make an impact on how she views her religion.
In the meantime life will be rough in the matter of religion. It will become the catchall for every disagreement that the two of you have. Don't let it become an excuse for not settling problems. It will especially become harder once the two of you start having children. Marriage doesn't resolve these issues.