Question:I am currently the minister of a congregation.† I am married and my marriage is on the rocks.† I often have thoughts of divorcing my wife, but I know that it would have a huge effect on all those whom I have baptized and help lead to Christ.† My wife is no longer attractive to me, itís hard to kiss her.† She doesnít clean hardly at all; she will often leave food out for days until it molds.† She canít hardly take care of our one child (she changes his diapers and leaves them on the floor)† She is always talking to me like I am a child and not respectful at all.† I really feel like just divorcing her and not marrying again. (I would rather just live my life in peace and focus on my relationship with God.)† What shall I do? If I divorce her and not marry again will God forgive me for divorcing her?
Going only by what you describe, it sounds like your wife is mentally ill. The behavior you are describing is not normal. You should treat this as any other illness and locate help for her.
Yes, divorcing your wife will have a big impact on those who know you -- it ought to! Everything you list is a hardship for you, so your divorce will be perceived as a selfish attempt to avoid dealing with problems; and that is not what most people want to hear about their preacher. I think what bothers me most about your note is everything is focused on what you want. What happens to your son? Who is going to keep him safe and healthy? How is your wife going to take care of herself if you are not around?
You see, years ago you made a vow to love your wife in sickness and in health. Your wife is mentally ill and now you are talking about breaking your vow that you made before God, but justifying it as giving you more time to spend with God. God doesn't take oath breaking lightly. "Do not let your mouth cause your flesh to sin, nor say before the messenger of God that it was an error. Why should God be angry at your excuse and destroy the work of your hands?" (Ecclesiastes 5:6). It is this breaking of vows that has God upset over divorces. ""For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously"" (Malachi 2:16).
Strange as it may seem, I would like you to study a lesson that is titled "The Meekness of Moses." Then I would like you to go have a talk with your wife's physician to arrange to have her checked for a physical ailment that may be behind this odd behavior. The physician will probably also have her check out by a psychologist as well to get to the root of the problem.