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When I met my husband, he was going through a divorce from his former wife.  She had been unfaithful.  He moved out and the other man moved in with her.  Before I met him, he had already begun the divorce papers.  Because of his first wife's unfaithfulness, I understand he had a right to remarry.  Although in his eyes, their marriage was over, the papers weren't completed when he and I had sex.  There was a court date that he or his wife should have gone to.  He was out of state in military training and could not be there.  His wife did not show for the hearing and the original divorce case was thrown out. 

We dated for a short number of months and then decided to get married.  He first had to go back to his home state and complete the paperwork before we could get married. 

I am now trying to live my life the way that God wants me to and sometimes wonder if God accepts my marriage because of the legalities. 

In his heart, when I met him, his marriage to her was over and he had no intention of going back to her.  The paperwork was already begun.  I know I was wrong either way because I had unmarried sex.  Because I was not living my life as a Christian at the time, it didn't make a difference to me if I slept with someone who was going through a divorce. 

Now, I have had questions. I made the mistake of voicing my worries to my husband and am afraid I may have discouraged him even further from ever coming to Christ.  He is a non-believer.  I was raised in the faith.  I was baptized as a teen and walked away from my faith when I left home. 

I was recently baptized again to be sure it was for the right reasons. 

I love my husband and we have two young children now.  I want to raise them to be faithful and live a godly life before them and my husband. 

I know that God put government here for a reason.  Am I living in adultery?  As much as I love my husband, I don't want to find out in the hereafter that I've been living in sin.  I want to be right in the sight of God. 


I'm glad you realize how foolish you were to have sex with a man to whom you were not married. Even though he had the intentions of divorcing his wife and for the proper reasons, what you and he did was adultery. Even in the eyes of the government, if the two of you went about it in the proper way, you could not have married until the divorce was complete.

Are you married to your current husband in God's eyes? Yes, since he divorced his wife because of her unfaithfulness. He should have stayed away from sex until he married again, but that is now in the past. Yes, you and he muddied the waters with your sinful relationship, but you did correct that particular sin.

Rather than undermining your marriage with your own doubts, you need to put your energies into building up your marriage. "Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin" (Romans 14:22-23). It is true in all matters. You have to have confidence that what you are doing is right. When you learn that something you are doing is wrong, then correct it and continue on. But constantly wondering about whether you did the right thing years later is not going to strengthen your faith or bring your husband to Christ.


See also:

Questions and Answers regarding Marriage