How do I stop my family from being influenced by a Mormon?




I need prayer for myself along with my mom and maybe my brother and father. They have a business person over who is Mormon. I don't mind having some one over who is of a different religion. That doesn't bother me, but my eight year old nephew lives here, and the guy is befriending my nephew purposely and reading mormon writings in front of him.

Today I woke up, showered, and got dressed. As I walked in and he just finishes reading some Mormon letters or something from a book. My mom is standing there all giddy like "Oh that's neat." My nephew has a new best friend in this old guy and this guy is saying random things about Jesus here and there, mostly when I am not around. I haven't heard him say anything contrary to the Bible, but he doesn't talk religion much when I am around.

I stood there disgusted with my mother for letting my nephew, an 8 year old who takes people word as golden if you are kind to him. My nephew will soak everything you say. I took my nephew and said, "Let's go play a game," to get him out of there.

I pulled my brother aside (my nephew's dad). I told him this man was reading Mormon literature to his son, and that if I see it again I will tell him to stop and tell him he can do that on his own private time, but not if my nephew is around. If he does it again, I'll tell him to leave the house. I feel it's my brother's responsibility to protect his kid, not mine all the time. My brother isn't exactly a great Christian guy, but he doesn't want his kid turning to Mormonism. My brother tells me he will take care of it, which I hope he does because if I see it again, I will tell the guy to be quiet and not talk again to my nephew about Mormonism. If I see it again, he's out of the house.

I am not the man of the house, my father is, but my father has been a baby Christian all his life and barely understands what a Christian is about nor does he live it most of the time. After I told my brother and i go eat, then everyone leaves to other rooms. My mom tells me that I have been having an attitude. I agreed. I told her, " You stand there letting him read Mormon writings to a boy who is easily influenced." She said, "Well, we read stuff that's not Christian." I told her, "That's you, not me." She acts like we are just discussing literature. I told her, "You're brain dead. He's befriending the boy and using excuses to read Mormon writings to everyone." She said she has talked to him, but he doesn't listen. My mom couldn't stand up to this guy even if she wanted to or tried. She said, "We talked last night about this stuff." I replied, "But he's influencing the boy." She tells me, "You need to be nicer." I respond, "You know, if you want to compromise your faith that's your problem and your faith. But if I see it done again my nephew, I am telling him not to do it again and if he does, he's out of the house." My mother said "You need to be nicer and it's fine," or something along those lines.

I walked away saying "That's your faith not mine." I imagine when this guy leaves tonight that my mom is going to have at it with me, which I will more than let her know in every way what she is doing is wrong. At times I believe things need to be handle delicately, but this is one I am not going to do with any sugar coating. It bothers me that my mother is willing to compromise her faith just to get business done.

I want prayer that this doesn't destroy my relationship with my family because I probably will hear it from my father and mother and perhaps my brother. Second, I would like God to give me words of wisdom and a heart not filled with anger or disgust over what happened. Certain things eat at me, like what happened today. And that my parent's and brother ears and hearts will be open.

I am going to see if my nephew can stay at my other brother's house who is a Christian guy and who raises a healthy Christian home. My other brother is a man of God that doesn't compromise his relationship with God for money and is a outstanding Christian guy who loves all people. Pray that my parents and brother can see how this guy uses sly speech and words to deceive people. He is very well trained with words and makes things sound nice and good. He knows how to phrase things so it doesn't seem harmful and like he isn't doing it on purpose.

The reason why I give him the cold shoulder is because I used to be like that. I knew how to use words to my advantage in have a tongue that made anything sound right. But it was wrong of me to do it and I knew it. This guy purposely does it. I read people very well and he purposely does this stuff. I think that's why he doesn't say much around me because I look at him and I see right through him. He's an evil guy who twists words and tells you it's OK. He so very good with words. It's amazing, but it's an act and I know it and it bothers me to the core that my family is so blind.

Sorry about venting a lot of anger and frustration that my family can be so easily swayed by one guy and be easily blinded. I needed to get it out. If I am doing anything wrong on my part, let me know. I don't want to be blinded by my anger or disgust or anything. I need prayers about that right now. Thanks for listening, and any advice you have I will be more than willing to listen to it.

Welcome to another aspect of being an adult: the sudden realization that you don't have control over many situations. The anger that you are feeling is due to the fact that you realize that you don't have control, so it is coming out in inappropriate ways. "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God" (James 1:19-20).

The second thing you need to realize is that your anger is telling those around you that you don't think the Gospel can stand against Mormonism. Only people in a weak position need to get angry. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek" (Romans 1:16). It doesn't matter how slick of a talker this man is, what matters is the truth. Yes, some people are pulled by pretty speeches, but your strong point is the solidness of truth. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. or the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (II Corinthians 10:3-5).

Instead of banging your head against the wall of things you have no right to do, focus on what is with in your power to do. You live in your parents home. It is they, not you, who decide who is and who is not welcomed in their home. You, as a good son, can warn them when you see danger, but ultimately the decision is their own. You need to respect them for their position in your life and let them make decisions, even when you think that decision is wrong. You have control over your life and if their choices endanger you or those you have responsibility for, then you will have to isolate yourself from the danger. In the same vein, you are correct that it is your brother who has responsibility for his own son. You can be the loving brother and point out where you see danger. You can offer suggestions on how that danger can be minimized. But ultimately your brother has to make his own choices and live with the consequences of his choices.

The man is fascinating to your nephew because he is a novelty of sorts and the man is giving him extra attention that most adults do not give an eight year old. Obviously you have influence because you are older and you live in the same home. You nephew does things with you. So be a representative of Christ to him. Have fun with your nephew. More importantly, listen to what he says. When opportunities arise point out the proper way to behave and point out that our standard of behavior comes from Christ. Be confident that in the long run, the Gospel will win the hearts of those who love truth.

I take care of my nephew a lot because his father doesn’t spend much time with him. I spend the most time with him. It's as if he’s my own child and I feeling about protecting him from stuff. I know God will hold out against Mormons, no problem. It is not the first or the last time I have ran into a Mormon. I have had friends who are Mormon, I have friends who think they are vampires, other friends who are Buddhists, or into witchcraft, etc. I have had many friends from different religions, and I have talked about Christ with a lot of them, nor do I think Christ will lose. I just hate seeing an eight year old preyed upon by a guy who is slick with words.  My parents said it wouldn’t happen, as in they said he kept his business and his religion separate when he was here and they said I wouldn't have to worry about him messing with my nephew.

He just came over and he wasn’t supposed to. My brother told him we have guests over who were staying already. The guy showed up anyway with bags and all his stuff. He tells tall tales of his “so called adventures”. A example would be:

“I was at this country speaking to this prince (he claims it to be true) and then I went to go to sleep in one of the palace rooms, when all of the sudden a woman came in and undressed herself got into the bed and laid next to me. But me being a man of God, I just laid there too anxious to move all night, not touching the woman. Then when I got up in the morning the prince came to me and said if I can  trust you with my daughter then I can trust you with my business.”

This isn’t the only one he has but he claims to be rich and have lots of money, but yet he can’t stay at a hotel, can’t rent a car, can’t meet his clients, so they come to our house. We're out in the middle of nowhere. I didn't like the guy’s before any of this happened. Because he just came to our house expecting to stay, which we have housed people before for over six months when people are in need. He is staying only a few days -- three at first but then this morning he suddenly changes it to a couple of more days. Thing is my brother specifically told him not to come over because we don’t have room as we have other people staying with us. Like I said, he randomly shows up during the day bringing his bags in. Now I hate to pre-judge, but I think the guy is a free loader in every sort of form and way and doesn’t respect the people he is with. But for some reason my mom and dad think this guy is the best guy in the world and will do anything for him to do business with him.

I guess I should say I am not happy with my parents and how they are handling things. The guy is a deceiver when he talks, not just talking about his religion, I mean he knows how to sway people. I found out last night that while I was gone he spent a lot of time with my nephew. I saw it this morning. The guy wouldn’t do his “work” until my nephew left for school and he keep going where my nephew was following him. Like I said I respect people. I have friends of many different religions and they all like me because they know I stand firm on my foundation with Christ. I respect them, and I talk about Christ with them too every so often. Some of them come to church and some times hang out with my Christian friends. But I don’t go to their house uninvited, purposely befriending a little boy who is impressionable, just to turn him to Christ. I do befriend little kids if they're Christian or not and I treat them with love and respect just because I love kids and Christ is in me, but I don’t start saying stuff against their parents religion because I respect the parents. If the kid comes to me at a church group or wants to know more about Christ and comes to my personally, then I will tell him but that doesn’t usually happen until they are teenagers and parents tell them they are free to do what they want. When I see my nephew in danger of a Mormon guy who already has proven himself not to be respectful or trustworthy and follows my little nephew around, I don’t want him around. Not because I don’t think Christ won’t win out in the end, more of I don’t want my nephew around people who are purposely being evil and trying to attack his spiritual life like that. It's creepy how he follows my nephew around. I would have no problem handling him in a debate about Christ , that’s easy as Mormons have tons of flaws in all their writings. I have had Mormon friends.

Cooled down now, and I guess I am not happy with my parents and because they said he wouldn’t be talking about Mormonism to my nephew and the first thing I see is him trying to influence my nephew. My parents didn’t keep their word and the guy didn’t respect my brother or my parents by showing up uninvited and expecting to stay for what now looks to be a week instead of three days and he’s not supposed to even be here. To me I just see my parents willing to sacrifice the well being of their grandson so that you can get your business set up, and then they make excuses for the guy, saying "Oh it's ok. He isn’t doing anything wrong." I guess I expected more from my family than their willingness to sacrifice the well being of a little eight year old. I had my father and mother's agreement he wouldn’t do exactly what he is doing and then when it happens, my mom make excuses saying it's OK.

I am gone half of the time, I guess I feel responsible for my nephew because I helped raise him literally half of the time these last eight years. I guess my question is: Should I ask my mom and dad about them not keeping their word about the guy? I feel I should.

Anyway, sorry again. I am probably still writing out of anger and frustration. Don’t worry. I won't write about it again. This will be my last e-mail about it, also thanks for listening and giving me advice, and how to honor my parents in the situation. If there are any other things i should work on with the situation let me know.

I hope you realize that I can only see what you present to me, and there isn't a practical way for you to tell me everything you know. I try hard to look at what you might have overlooked, but there are limits to what I can do from here.

I don't know if you know this or not, but I teach Tae Kwon Do and self-defense, so I'm a little more tuned toward seeing some types of dangers. From your second letter, there are two points that ring alarm bells. I think you are seeing them, but you are distracted in trying to be fair with this man's religion. I don't think religion is the main problem.

One, he might be a person who likes tall-tales, but to me he is nothing more than a liar. The fact that he claims to be a godly person is demonstrated to be false by his tale. A godly person would not have stayed alone in a room overnight with someone to whom he is not married. The second fact is that the core of the tale is vain-glory. His tale compliments himself, demonstrating his personal pride.

Second, his claims of being rich are another indication that he is both prideful and a liar.

Third, it is one thing for an eight year old to hang around an interesting adult, but for an adult to be seeking out the company of an eight year old is a danger signal.

I'm disturbed that your parents are using this man's services for their business. They are going to be taken to the cleaners. No sensible person put trust in a liar and the Bible is quite clear that trusting in someone full of self-pride is dangerous as well. To ignore the warning signs doesn't speak well for them.

Here is what you need to do:
1) Go on the Internet and Google this man and his business.
2) Go down to the police station and ask if there are complaints filed against this man. Especially ask if he appears on a sexual predator listing.
3) Locate the Better Business Bureau in your area and ask if there are complaints against this guy's business.
4) If you hear him talking about past business transactions, start checking them out quietly.
5) Go to the Mormon church where he claims to be a member and ask the leadership if there has been complaints about the man. Tell them that you are concerned because his actions don't match what you know the Mormon religion teaches, even though you are not a Mormon yourself.
I strongly suspect that there is a mile long rap sheet on this character. Rather than argue with your parents about your feelings, I want you to start gathering hard evidence. At first you will run into a number of dead ends, but soon you will find leads. Perhaps we are both wrong and you won't find anything, but it would be more comfort to know we are wrong than to be wondering.

If you do find something, don't wait to get a whole bunch of things to plop on your parents all at once. Instead, give them to them as you locate them and just say "I found this today. I thought you should know." In this manner you give them respect to make the proper judgment once they have the appropriate evidence before them.

See also:

Questions and Answers regarding Family