Please give me some pointers on how to be a proper wife of a deacon, i.e. physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, etc. I would like to know about all the inward and outward aspects of being a deacon's wife.
The rule of life for a deacon's wife is the same as for all Christian women. The only significant difference is that a deacon's wife will have mastered those things that a new born Christian may be struggling with. The only direct passage that addresses your question is in I Timothy 3:11 where Paul says, "In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything." These three attributes are mentioned in other passages, but using slightly different words. For example, Titus 2:3-5, "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." There is not much difference between being temperate and being self-controlled or between slander and malicious talk.
The key to being a deacon's wife is in being the kind of person that others will respect. In Proverbs 31:10-31 is a fascinating list of the things that make a woman worthy of respect. It is a life of work, sound judgment, and diligence. All of those attributes are true no matter what culture you were raised in or what country you find yourself in. They are universal.